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is marriage compulsory?

Q:

I know that marriage is highly recommended but is it compulsory to get married in islam? Will I get gunah if I don’t get married?

A:

Salam Alaykum Va Rahmatullah

The decision of every human being is based on the judgment one makes, for that I believe you think marriage is not suitable for you. As a Talabe who studied the ahadith for more than 15 years I think your judgment is based on wrong premises.

First you must know the benefits of marriage are not limited to sexual satisfactions. Marriage is a good boost for personal development. It gives one reasons and motive to get better in moral, religious, financial and social aspects.

Imam Sadiq(A.S) told a girl who has decided to not get married, if there was a benefit for being single (in the eyes of Allah) Fatima Al-Zahra would not get married.

Developing in the Erfan levels is faster for married people and even some levels of Erfan is only for married people.

Usually the decision for avoiding marriage is because of bad experiences people see in the life of their parents or someone they love(siblings, friends etc.). Prior failing marriage also can cause the same feeling. It is necessary for you to know your life is completely different from them and you are the master of your destiny. If you failed in your first marriage it doesn’t mean you would get the same result in your next marriage. Secondly it is because one may think heshe is not interesting in looks or personality , and so or one has a bad memory. Remember everybody is different from one another and someone who is not interesting for one, can be the love of life for another. Find the love of your life and start your journey. Be brave! Some of Ulama said the verse

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا means everybody has a couple who can find and have good life with himher. Thirdly one is forced to get married to someone heshe doesn’t want. In this case you must talk to parents and you should face and solve the problem, not avoiding it completely.

I know there are a lot more than these three reasons for avoiding marriage but these three are the most common ones. If you can get in touch with an Alim who knows about personal and consulting.

At the end I have to say successful marriage needs a lot of efforts and need learning but it worth the effort.

Please before reading the last part consider my suggestions as it is the better way to chose

About your last question, no it is not Gunah to avoid marriage if you don’t commit marriage related Gunah. Also I have to mention maybe for now you can control yourself but later when you change your mind there are no cases for marriage. So you have to consider the future.

Best regards!
Sayid Madani.