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Is it wrong for a mother to spy on her children?



I have a teenage daughter. I often go through her belonging and messages on her phones so I am aware of what she is doing and looking at and talking to. I wanted to know if it is wrong of me to do so?


Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

From the Islamic point of view, it is not haram if it is required for her Tarbiyat.

Although, the parents have to be careful in these matters because, if the children come to know the parents are spying, there would be a negative effect and they wouldn’t share things with the parents.
One of the best ways is to create a friendly relationship between the parents and the children. If this is built, the children would themselves share their things and thoughts with you, which will make it easier for you to help them out.
Unfortunately, the West has demolished and tarnished this relationship between the parents and children and that is why they have conquered and vanquished in this field. And that is why, we see that teenagers are not comfortable sharing their thoughts with their parents because the media has influenced and shown the children to have power even if the parents try to guide their own children, and the children to be the decision maker in teenage years even if parents are disrespected. But Islam is a beautiful religion and has always tried to keep the respect of the parents in its place so that children can respect their parents and have a prosperous life by learning from their parent’s experiences.

I would recommend you try to get counselling from scholars where you can speak in detail so you don’t have to face problems in the future in this regard.

Allah knows the best.

May Allah(swt) grant you success


Syed Haider