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Is it permissible for wife to see her parents without permission of her husband

Q:

Salaam,

A friend is married for a few months,she requested to visit her parents once a week,husband has refused and said its not a necessity,they will go when he wishes,the girls parents live a street away.The friend feels mentally depressed and becomes very emotional  as she pleaded and begged her husband but he said NO and her parents long to see her too.How can we help the girl? she is not commiting any wrong thing if she wishes to visit her parents

A:

Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

A wife should obey her husband provided that the husband would guide her towards the best and according to obedience to Allah. There is no obedience to any creature that implies disobedience to the Creator.

According to Ayatullah al-Udhma Sayyid Ali Sistany:

Ruling 2430. It is unlawful for a woman in a permanent marriage to leave the house without the permission of her husband even if this does not infringe on his rights, except in the following cases: [i] a necessity requires her to; [ii] staying in the house causes her hardship (haraj); [iii] the house is not appropriate for her. Also, she must submit to giving her husband sexual pleasure, which is his right, whenever he wishes. She must also not prevent him from having sexual intercourse with her without a legitimate excuse (ʿudhr). It is obligatory on a husband to provide his wife with food, clothing, housing, and other things that she needs. If he does not provide these for her, irrespective of whether he is able to or not, he will be indebted to her. Furthermore, one of the rights of a wife is that her husband must not subject her to harassment or abuse, and he must not treat her in a harsh or rough manner without a legitimate reason.

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2333/

All husbands should understand and give rational freedom to their wives if it doesn’t cause problems and hardship in their relationship. The husband and wife relationship is beautiful where Allah swt wants both of them to stay a happy life in order to get closer to Allah swt. Even though the husbands have the authority to stop their wives from going outside their house without their permission but if they trust their wives and know the wives wouldn’t commit sin or do anything which would make problems for the husband then the husbands should be easy in these sort of matters.

The girl should think about the reward of having patience(sabr) in this condition and the reward of obeying her husband. Nevertheless, Tawakkul and Tawassul shouldn’t be forgotten. She should have Tawakkul in Allah swt and do tawassul with Ahlul Bayt (as) and hope the things would change In sha’Allah. Ziarate Ashura, Hadithe Kisa, other duas and Tasbeeh like Salawat etc can be recited and the reward(hadya) of the recitation to be sent to Masumeen(as).

Sometimes it’s the trust which plays an important role which is especially at the beginning of the marital life. Once, the trust is built between the husband and wife, many things are solved easily. One of the other things she can do is to strengthen that trust which may be weaker or not strong enough since their marriage.
Building a good communication with one another is vital. Afterall, a couple is to live together forever and there has to be an understanding between the two.

Also, she can stay in touch with her parents by phone or social media to decrease depression.

If things do not change after a period of time then maybe the elders can speak and solve the issue if it still remains as a depression in the marital life.

 

May Allah swt give us Tawfiq to fulfill our responsibilities and pay the rights of Momineen.

Wassalam,
AAA team under the guidance of 

Syed Haider