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Is it my responsibility to do all household chores of my in laws

Q:

I was married 4 months ago. My husband is a doctor and I am also in the 4th year of medical. Before marriage, my in-laws said we will complete her studies. Now they have forced me to leave my studies. Also they dont allow me to meet my parents or call them. Is there any Islamic law about this? Is there any law about doing all the works of in laws ie my husbands parents and his sisters. They say it is my reponsibility even to clean their washrooms…

A:

Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

If they had agreed and it was made a condition before marrying that you will complete your studies, then they shouldn’t stop you from completing your studies.

It is not Wajib for a wife to work for her in-laws. But as a respect, you can work for your father/mother-in-law. But obliging you to work for your sister in laws is not at all your responsibility. As you mentioned, they ask you to clean their washrooms as well. This is not Islam. It is not your responsibility to take care of your brother or sister in laws affairs.

Also they shouldn’t stop you meeting or at least speaking with your parents on phone. This puts a negative effect on a wife who is already staying away from her parents.

Speak to your husband politely and make him understand. Good husbands do understand and should understand their wife’s situation.

According to Ayatullah al-Udhma Sayyid Ali Sistany:

Ruling 2430. It is unlawful for a woman in a permanent marriage to leave the house without the permission of her husband even if this does not infringe on his rights, except in the following cases: [i] a necessity requires her to; [ii] staying in the house causes her hardship (haraj); [iii] the house is not appropriate for her. Also, she must submit to giving her husband sexual pleasure, which is his right, whenever he wishes. She must also not prevent him from having sexual intercourse with her without a legitimate excuse (ʿudhr). It is obligatory on a husband to provide his wife with food, clothing, housing, and other things that she needs. If he does not provide these for her, irrespective of whether he is able to or not, he will be indebted to her. Furthermore, one of the rights of a wife is that her husband must not subject her to harassment or abuse, and he must not treat her in a harsh or rough manner without a legitimate reason.

Ruling 2432. A man has no right to compel his wife to do housework.

www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2333

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider