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Interracial Convert Marriage

Q:

Hi. I met my current partner on an online dating site about a year ago. He is Buddhist and I am Muslim. He wants to convert and marry me and me too. I also want to marry him. However he lives in china and can only come to uk when he is on work basis. I live in uk and need a valid visa to visit him. This is our first dilemma. The second dilemma is getting my family especially my parents to accept him. My parents are traditional. They don’t like convert marriages and want the same race and language. How do I get my parents to accept him? I also want to move to China for him but my parents may refuse my request. How do I surpass this? How can we make our marriage valid and acceptable? Also does my partner need to undergo a circumcision once he converts? Do I need my parents to be witness at my wedding? Please assist me on this matter. Should I just marry him first and then tell my parents or tell my parents first ?

A:

Salamun Alaykum

If he has been a partner for a year and is still a Buddhist. then such a relationship is not allowed in Islam and you cannot continue with it as a Muslim

The Qur’an is clear on this. Verse 2:221 states:

“And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you.

Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.”

However if he becomes Muslim, then you can certainly marry, although it is better to have the blessings of you parents, and necessary if you have not married before and your father is your guardian.There is no simple answer to getting your parents’ acceptance, but once he is a Muslim, you can try to get them to know him better and perhaps that will change their minds.

Witnessing at weddings is not compulsory. Circumcision only becomes necessary for Haj, because Tawaf is invalid otherwise.

Kind regards

Abbas Jaffer