The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

Insecurity during prayer leading to shirk?

Q:

Salam alaikum.

For a long time I have been very self-critical and insecure, mainly due to a lack of real self-esteem while growing up. While I have grown a lot alhamdulillah, this still reflects most strongly in my salaat. I am not confident in my recitations and sometimes will repeat a verse or a phrase multiple times to make sure that I’ve pronounced it correctly.

Due to this, especially when I’m praying around others who can hear me, I tend to become very self-conscious and instead of repeating the verse I may recite it just one time and continue because I am afraid that I will be perceived as crazy for repeating so many verses so many times. I know that in the first place if I had just recited it one time it would have been fine to continue, but because I continued due to the fear of being judged by others, I feel that this is shirk and my prayer will not be accepted ie to repeat the verse should have been my own decision in Allah not due to the potential opinions of others.

This can also take other similar forms like maybe, I may want to recite qunoot myself but at the same time if I know that there is someone around it may cause me to want to recite it for that reason also, although I’m not really sure. Or because I repeat salaam a couple of times, during congregational prayer I switch to reciting from a sort of hearable voice to whisper so that others won’t notice that I’m repeating the salam. This I am worried is shirk also as I’m doing something out of fear of people and my prayer should be directed totally towards God.

I end up feeling really dissatisfied with my prayer and unhappy with myself and sometimes I feel that I may anger God by not praying properly.. so it disturbs me until I get the chance to pray again, even as qadha.

I know overall that this is an unhealthy emotional/thought process and I will continue working on myself. Specifically where it ties it with my prayer though, I’d appreciate your guidance and let me know if I am right or wrong.

A:

SalamunAlaykum
We appreciate you to ask questions, giving importance to your religious matters. Excessive doubt is an undesirable trait. Religion has forbidden giving importance to such doubts. In a Hadith, it is mentioned that Satan wants to entangle a believer in doubt. If you ignore this doubt, Satan will also become disappointed and leave.

Therefore, do not read the same thing repeatedly and consider it sufficient to read it once.

As for ostentation and polytheism, in the mentioned situation, people are generally not doing things for others but are giving importance to others in their worship. This condition should be eliminated, and attention should be focused solely on God. Ostentation occurs when we perform actions to please someone else.

May Allah grant us the ability to make our worship sincere.

Regards.