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Infertility & Adoption



I am desperately looking for advice and guidance for my situation. My husband is suffering from Azoospermia and therefore unable to have kids of his own. I accepted our situation as a will of Allah. I love my husband very much and I can’t even think of leaving him. But at the same time i have always thought of having a family and have children. I find my life very meaningless and useless. I have lost my interest in work, house and have become very anti- social. I am really struggling and feel if this continues, I will suffer from anxiety and depression. I may be going through it already. I decided to look into adoption option and did my thorough search. I also came across a couple that we met who have been in the same situation and have adopted 2 kids. I did it so my husband can meet someone who has been in a similar situation and how adoption has helped them change their life. I also did my research over how can i take treatment and breastfeeding the child so he/she will be mahram for both of us. The problem i have is my husband has completely backed out and he is not at all agreeing to adopt a child. Am i being wrong here asking him to do so? Is he being unreasonable for not letting me adopt. I know for sure I can’t live my life like this. It is already effecting and has made me a very negative and angry person. His family has given me no support over this situation and that’s why I told him if you don’t want to adopt i will not keep any relation what so ever with your family. I know I am not right but I guess I am being like this because I am so angry and frustrated. I expected he and his family would appreciate the fact that I am willing to sacrifice the thought of never having kids of my own and go for adoption for the sake of my husband whom I am not willing to leave and always be there to support him. The thought also disturbs me that if God Forbid if something happens to my husband, i will be left completely alone and how will I spend my life without anything. There is a great reward for looking after an orphan child and I want myself and my husband to have this opportunity so Allah may forgive our sins and grants us Jannah in the afterlife. Please advise?


Waalykum salam
Thank you for your question

May Allah help you through this test and pray that you come out happy and victorious.

Indeed it is very difficult not to have children in life and a person wants to adopt all measures to have one.

In your situation however, I feel there still maybe a way to communicate with your husband and talk him through. But you first need to start with yourself. You need to calm down and reverse your pessimism and anger. That way you are making ample room in your mind to be able to think and understand the situation fully.

I strongly believe that communication can do wonders. You may want to approach someone else in your family, or so who your husband respects and listens to. That way you will be able to influence him more. However more important than that would be to know as to why he doesn’t want to adopt children?!

It’s a mere understanding between the two of you and I’m hopeful it will work out.

Hope all goes well and you’re able to live a happy satisfying life. The kind that Allah blesses abundantly

Best wishes