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I want a separate kitchen from my In laws….


I have been married for last 7 years and am staying in a Joint family with my husband parents and his 2 brothers and their families. I have faced many issues at my in laws place for last 7 years. I have been diagnosed with three back slip discs and can not work for such a huge family of 16 members. I want a separate kitchen for myself and my kids. My husband doesn’t want this.. he says he can’t live in a separate kitchen nor can he let me stay alone in my kitchen. He wants to spend all his life like this. What do I do. Please help me


Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

This shows that you are not only taking care of your husband and children you also accepted your husband’s family which is admirable for which Allah(swt) will definitely reward you.

It is better to discuss this issue with your husband and find different solutions. See what is the best solution. A solution that will not bother you so much and take care of your back problem, and that your husband’s family will not get upset either.

Talk to your husband about your physical condition and ask him to suggest a solution to improve your back. Explaining your situation will help your spouse understand you better and reach an agreement and result more easily and in a better way.

Of course, in expressing your situation, you have to meet condition that is to stay polite and don’t blame your husband in the first go and don’t say you don’t think or care about me at all rather try to use positive and nice sentences which may result in your husband realizing your problem. Make him understand what you are going through with the slipped discs. If he understands he shouldn’t force you to be responsible for all 16 members as the wives are not responsible for the brother’s family of their husband.

The husbands must understand their life partner’s situation and problem and then decide in order not to overload someone.

Ruling 2432. A man has no right to compel his wife to do housework.

At the same time, keep praying 5 times a day, recite Quran and Duas every day. Recite Hadithe Kisa and gift the reward to Bibi Zahra(sa)

May Allah(swt) grant you success


Syed Haider