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I wanna know Is it permissable in Islam to beat a grown up son?

Q:

Assalamu alaikum…I am 17 years old guy.Since Islam tell our parents to treat us maturely at this age.But in our country,we are not treated like that and me myself is going through a rough situation.It is my father who scolds me for every little thing I have done or haven’t done.For example,I pray five times a day.so for Fazr prayer i get up early at 5 am and after finishing my Salah i fall asleep again.But he scolds me so badly because I didn’t study after my salah and i woke up at 7 am in the morning.My father says 7 am is too late to wake up and since he was angry anyway from the morning,he put all of his anger on me.He was angry and had to lose the anger on someone.So although i got up early everyday n today also,i still got scold and moreover the thing which is stressing me the most is,he beats me for little things.it is hard to explain the situation to him.and it is hard to relate the situation that i still get beat by my father.so I wanna know is it permissable in Islam to beat his grown up guy like this?Please tell me the answer.I want the answer so badly.thank you

A:

Assalamu Alaykum.

Thank you for your Question.

I sympathize with you and the situation you are in.
Islam does not, at all, encourage parents to treat their children in this manner. Infact, if a parent hits a child in away that the skin colour changes, the father/parent is Held liable to pay the child blood money (Diyah).

From your Query, Looks like your father is going through some other stress and releases it by getting angry or physically beating you up. For this you need to take an immediate action.

1- You must seek some help for him. You can do this indirectly like speak to a family member who he would listen to, say your mother!? Or grand parents? Or if things are serious you may want to speak to and elderly or your community Alim, so that this immediately, yet indirectly, taken care of.

2– Dig out his issue and see how you Can help. Is it financial issue!? Social pressure!? Family pressure? Medical issue?? These kind of reasons can actually increase ones mental instability and force people to react to baseless simple things. You can try and identify the problem and help solve it. For instance, if it’s due to financial constraints, you may want to look for simple part time job and offer a helping hand in running the family!?

3- keep busy and keep away. Try and occupy yourself in such a manner that your are away from him and also doing something constructive. You may want to get involved in a new skill or part time job so that you are away from the situation and InshaAllah as The time goes, it reduces.

4- pray! Pray hard and ask Allah to show you the way to other open doors. At times, we are stuck and feel this is the only way. Where as Allah clearly says in Surah al-Talaq ayah 3:»And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.« ..

You sound like a very good and strong soul. Someone who believes in Allah no matter what. Waking up for fajr at this age and keeping up with your duties, like studying is a major task and you’re so wonderfully doing it! MashaAllah
May Allah keep you that way…

InshaAllah you are always successful.
Kindly refer to the link below for an answer to a similar Question. It may help you other things better.

Not good relations with Father

Kind regards,
N.S.Jaffery