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I love a girl, but I haven

Q:

Asalamualykum,
I am Ashiq from Kerala, 3 years ago, I was hospitalised due to a Bike accident, After that I went into depression and loneliness, I have no friends , families etc. I opened a Facebook account, I chat with a Muslim girl. She is not ready to show her face that’s why I love her, Its been 3 years since We are continuing this relationship, now I’m 27 year old I cant live without her.  She is a Mujahid and I am a Sunni, I tried for a good job I didn’t get one,I did not see her yet, I didn’t call her yet but I love her because she is caring and loving . She is in Qatar now while I am in India.  Please pray for us. Is it a problem in Islam, as I haven’t  seen her, What should  I do?

A:

Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

Having a relationship with a non-mahram is Haram if one even fears to fall into sin, this includes chatting etc.

Question: Is it permissible to chat with girls on the internet?

Answer: If it is feared that they might be drawn towards sin, it is not permissible. Normally chatting ends up in a sin for both sides.

Question: Can I be in a friendly relationship with a girl in my class.

Answer: All kinds of relations with a non-mahram including joking, expressing mutual love, talking with the intention of deriving pleasure, looking at the body of a girl (except her face and hands up to the wrists) and at her hair or looking at her face with pleasure are Haram (forbidden). In fact, if it is feared that they might fall into a sin, it is forbidden for them to have any kind of relationship with each other.

www.sistani.org/english/qa/01151

There are differences between a Sunni and a Mujahid. Hence, it is wise that you think very critically and consider all possible problem or hurdle before marrying. Since,  at the moment she is your non-mahram, and you haven’t even seen her, Shaitan will make this enjoying for both of you as this is still a Haram relationship. This enjoyment will cover the possible bitter moments that can entail. Therefore, it is wise to consider all possible problems.

You mentioned you have no family and no friends. I don’t know if your parents are alive, if they are, then please speak to them about this. On the other hand the girl must speak to her parents, because you never know if her parents will agree to this marriage. The girl must get her father’s consent for the marriage (It is mandatory for a girl to obtain her father permission, otherwise the Nikah is invalid). If everything works out and her father agrees to the marriage, then you can marry. Make sure you and they all know that there is a difference in Ideologies so later no confusion is created.

On a side note brother, we would like you to understand that social media is an unpredictable platform. One needs to be sure that the person on the other side is really a person that she is claiming to be.

Allaho A’alam

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

AAA team on behalf of Syed Haider