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I have started feeling bad and a sense of hate for my wife, What should I do….


I got married 3 months ago, And got to know that my wife got raped when she was 13 and got harrased by her cousins once too. Now I have started feeling bad and a sense of hate for her what should I do ? I love her more than anything. I feel that I should do the same what she did so I could balance out the feelings on both sides please guide.


Salamun Alaykum
Thank you for your questions.

If the wife hadn’t indulged herself in fornication then she has nothing on her. If she was raped that is not her fault as there are many human beings living in this world with animalistic behavior.

Maybe it was not even required to be told after the marriage as it may affect the marital life. But since you know it was a rape and she hadn’t indulged in fornication, you can let the past go and think about the present and future. As you said you love her, keep loving her and don’t let her feel bad, as rape cases have negative effects on human psychology. Had it been Zina, then you were correct to show hatred but it wasn’t with her will.

I did not get the last part what you mean by “I feel that I should do the same what she did“. If you mean to continue the love then it is correct, but if you mean to have some negative effects on her, then you must refrain and try to forget it and carry on with the mutual understanding and happy life you are having right now. Because, the thing which was not in her hands, she is not responsible for it now.

Brother these past details don’t play any role other than having negative thoughts about her. If she loves you too then don’t let Satan overcome your love and affection towards each other.
I feel, your wife deserves your love an empathy more than before because of the trauma she went through as a child. But let not that bother you as something ill. It is something that happened in the past and it is best left there.

Write back to us if I have misunderstood that particular part.

May Allah(swt) keep Muslim women safe all over the world.


AAA team under the guidance of Syed Haider