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I have a lot on and always lashing out

Q:

I am in a really bad situation and I keep on lashing out at the person who is dear to me. It is because of what my ex-husband did in the past and I am taking it out on another person. The person that I am taking it out on is very dear to me and I have apologised twice but I still keep on hurting them and talk nonsense most of the time when I don’t mean to.

A:

Waalaykum al-Salam
Thank you for your question.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It is genuinely inappropriate to hurt innocent people around you who may be immensely loving, caring, and praying for you. However, on the hind side, you are also going through some inner frustration that needs to be vented.

My humble suggestion is that you seek some structured counselling. Preferably a Muslim counsellor who can coach you through this. It is also good to know that the best listener is God himself! So, make time to speak to him daily, because in that case, you know you have cried out to someone who has your- and others’- affairs in His most capable hands.

Make sure you say your Salah in time and recite Quran. listening to Quran recitation is also highly recommended to soothe oneself. I will also suggest you recite with understanding and build on understanding the deeper meaning of the ayahs through different exegesis.

Ziarat Ashura and Dua Tawasul are some other suggestions you may want to consider reciting daily for forty days or occasionally. Set aside charity often or daily if possible. And finally, ask for forgiveness and stay true to that intention that you won’t hurt them again insha’Allah.

hope this helps.
Regards,
S.S.Jaffery