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I feel depressed day by day, due to bad behavior of my husband… What should I do?

Q:

Asalam o alaikom

I wanted to know if it was allowed to get separated from my husband when he is not able to provide me with a better life and does not respect me. When someone else disrespects me he just stays quiet. He doe not take a stand for me while being insulted. I have no monthly pocket money. He can go out with friends to the cinema but tells me not to use fb. All this makes me depressed. All this is happening in my life I am getting depression now my life is getting worse. Day by day I feel like I should kill myself. I have a son as well. He was good before marriage we are relatives he knew everything about me but now he is just making an issue of everything, I wear proper clothes and hijab even in that he makes issues. I am so stressed as I can not take it anymore. Please help me out.

A:

Wa alaykum salam

Thank you for your question.

It is true that Allah has made divorce halal. It is made halal  for times when it is impossible for either of the spouses to continue with their marriage.

Divorce should be the last option to solve problems after a person has tried all ways to save her/his marriage.

I know you are going through a difficult time and it is not easy to tolerate all this. But before thinking about divorce, try and solve your problems.

One of the things you can do is to show your love and concern for him , by being kind to him, doing what he likes etc…, in a way that he should feel it. This might take a while to be effective but it can be rewarding. You can also take help from someone whom your husband listens to. It might help in changing his behaviour. He may not be realising his mistakes as something that is affecting you and his child immensely. Hence, he first needs to know. you can be the first person to speak to him. Make sure this talking does not turn into a chaotic and upsetting sitting. Rather a calm one that will help you speak while he listens and vice versa. This kind of sitting doesn’t happen on autopilot. Both of you will have to agree to such a sitting and take it from there.

In order to be able to do all this, you will need extra energy, patience, and strong willpower. And this will only come by building a strong relationship with Allah swt.  You can become close to Allah swt by feeling His presence, talking to Him and asking Him for help. He is the only one who has power over all things and it is only He who can solve your problems.

Make sure you pray on time, recite zikr (salawat,tasbeeh) during the day, pray namaze shab and ask(dua) Allah through the intercession of  the 14 Masoomeen a.s.

May Allah ease your problems.

AAA under the guidance of Sukaina Taqavi