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Am i a hypocrite? will i be forgiven ?

Q:

As-salamu `alaykum. I have a question about hypocrisy; I’m afraid I have fallen victim to it. I started praying few years back and stopped zina and drinking. At first it was great feeling. But then my heart was felt with hate about my past. I kept praying because good things were coming to me. I ask things from Allah and He gives me. I was not grateful to Him and my heart was filled with hate because my life did not go according to my plan. Well, finally Allah has exposed me by putting me in a bit of a test. I was blinded and did not think about nobody but myself. I have kibr (pride) which lead me to total humiliation. I did not know that I was a hypocrite till I was put in that test. I’m living in regret and it’s eating me alive. I really need your help. I want to repent but it’s too hard. I feel that my heart still filled with hate. It feels like Allah has put a seal on my heart, just like he mentioned in the Qur’an. I’m sorry but I can’t undo what I did. Can you, please, help me?

A:

Wa alaykum salam

You are very fortunate that you’ve been blessed with the blessing of realization. Not everybody gets the tawfeeq to accept his/her mistake. Now that you know your mistake,you should be thankful to Allah that He awakened your conscience and gave you the chance to repent.And Allah loves those who repent.As it is mentioned in the quran:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ

Verily God loves the repentant, (2:222

Allah is very Kind and Merciful and never seals the hearts of those who repent.infact it is He who paves the way for His servants to be able to return to the right path.

My advice is that do istighfar constantly and never lose hope in Allah’s mercy ,as the Quran says:

Surah Az-Zumar, Verse 53:
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Say: O my servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah; surely Allah forgives the faults altogether; surely He is the Forgiving the Merciful.

Regards
Sukaina Taqawi.