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I fail keeping my word am I a munafiq? ?

Q:

As-salamualikum waramatullah wabarkatuhu…
I have becomes frustrated of thinking to not sleep after fazr. I want to pray ishraq. It has been been from past 2 years. I give advise to others, if I would act accordingly even a bit, I would surely become more religiously committed. All problems is in me. I cannot enlist u my mistake. Sometimes I think of committing suicide wallahi blaze of the hereafter withhold me back. What I intend, I don’t able to do. What I promise, I don’t fulfill sometimes. My most the activities resembles with MUNAFIQ. Is truly my abode is hell. I don’t want to go. Have taken many advise also but don’t able to follow. Please help.

A:

Waalykum salam

Thank you for your question

you are certainly not a Munafiq. A Munafiq never intends to keep his or make up to a promise. He makes  them only to break them.

as for yourself, you make promises sincerely to keep them and stick by your word. In this case you’re completely opposite of a munafiq. You only need to analyze the following:

1- list down the promised you have broken in the past or words you haven’t been able to act upon yourself and see what was the cause. Find possible solutions and adopt them one at a time. Give the solutions some time and see which one was best to Over come your issue.

2- do not make promises or advice  if you feel you won’t be able to do it. Only give commitments for things that you will certainly be able to perform. This will minimize your disappointment and make you confident.

also, you must see a therapist or a counselor because having suicidal thoughts isn’t healthy. At times it’s just a simple lack of vitamins that makes you feel so low and to Eradicate this, you must also see a medical professional.

InshaAllah  all goes well

often recite ziarat Ashura and salawat.

regards,
N.S.Jaffery