The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

I don’t want to have another child but husband does.

Q:

Salaams, I am a 27 year old married woman blessed with a 3 year old daughter, I live with my husband and in laws too. I am grateful to Allah that He blessed us with a lovely girl, but throughout my parenting experiences, I have faced quite some difficulty with my husband. Alhamdulillah he is an excellent father, but he tends to be over protective over our child, he makes most decisions regarding her without involving me many times. sometimes, this has also led me to feel like a side-parent. When I was also expecting her, during pregnancy, he would discourage me from travelling via boat to see my parents, and also highly discouraged me from having the delivery at my mother’s (the reason acc to him is that the place where she lives may not be medically advanced- which in my opinion, is not true) As a result, I had to have her delivery in the place where I currently live with him (same town). As a result of all these past experiences, I have been thinking of not having another child, even if he would want to. What are my options? Does Islam say that as a wife, I must give him children if he wants? please educate me on this. Thank you

A:

Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

The relationship between husband and wife is a beautiful relation. Alhamdulillah you are blessed with a 3-year-old daughter.

In this relationship, it is crucial to address any misunderstandings between the partners. At times, one may believe they are acting correctly but realize later that their actions were not right. After having a child, many things are resolved, and the love for the child increases, often leading to the settling of some or many misunderstandings between the couple. If you believe that the past experience wasn’t favourable, but now you see that your husband understands you much better, then you can consider having a second child

There should be a mutual understanding and not a force to have a child. Try speaking with your husband politely about this issue and see what he says. Tell him about your concern and he may understand. If this mutual understanding is created before having the second child, it would really help you both in the future.

According to Ayatullah al-Udhma Sayyid Ali Sistany:

Question: Some women wish to avoid pregnancy, but their husbands want (them to get pregnant). Is it permissible to use pills or injections to prevent conception?

Answer: It is necessary for a woman to submit herself to her husband and be available for him. However, she can use pills to prevent conception even if her husband does not want her to do so.

www.sistani.org/english/qa/01139/

Allah knows the best

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider