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I can’t understand the line between what is good deeds and bad


Assalamualaikum,am in great trouble, can’t understand the line between what is good deeds and bad.

1) My husband does not wants me to sleep at night .He wants me to help him or serve him latenight/keep filling his empty bottles latenight because he is busy in Mobile utube etc
I try to sleep as early as I can because of being worried my fajar Salah will get qaza and I’ll miss my tahjud.

Today he fought on silly thing that am Snoring, it hurts me too much , I went straight to tahjud , when he asked me to come and sleep I denied his words with the intention that again it will annoy him my Snoring .

2) He wants me to wear jewelry and make up when hang out with him else he express his hatred towards me .
3)He fights on silly thing like, I wet foot mat and arguing on my thoughts .

3)He teach me lies that I should tell so and so to other people

5) He always takes me wrong however I try to please him which raises into an arguement . He ends up giving baddua and curse me calling dog etc that I’ll never get jannah. He points my ibadah is waste .I don’t argue or curse him instead remain silent .

Am really tense with all these actions of him . It hurts me real bad . I love Allah and I try to please my husband just for the sake of Allah . But whenever I make minor fault like scolding my kid when my kid annoy me ,or any silly things etc he always end up that I’ll not enter jannah, it hurts me real bad .he says he will never forgive me .

I get into depression. I cry silently all the time recalling his words.
He don’t offer salah on time, he don’t recite Quran ,he talks too much lie but he is very obedient to his parents .will Allah listen to his words and push me in hell ??


Alaikum Salam Dear Sister.

Islam and the laws defined by it gives us a clear understanding of good and evil, a conduct of life that is directed toward the achievement of good for all humanity, and “enjoining good and forbidding evil” are the goals of a person of faith.
Likewise, in a marital life, Islam allocates the rights and duties to be performed by each of the spouses.
The most important right of the husband is related to having physical relationship with his wife. It is the duty of a wife is to submit herself physically before her husband.
You as a wife must know this. It might be an excuse your husband is finding so that he can enjoy his right. Sometimes it is because of his ego that he might not invite you in a more friendly manner. This is wrong on his part ofcourse, but if you submit to his wish in this matter, you will earn his love gradually.
You can catch the right time to explain him politely also as to how important your sleep is. It maybe so that he is fed up of your getting up in the middle of the night for your Tahajjud prayer and snoring. Try to be subtle about it if it is at the expense of his rights since Allah has made the act of pleasing the spouse as one of the greatest worship too. When he is assured of this, he would not mind that you perform any kind of worship you please and be sure that your snoring also will turn out to be a small matter which he will easily overlook.
Try to win him over through obeying him in all the lawful matters, but when it comes to him asking you to sin, then there is no compromise there.
You can explain him without quarrelling and spoiling your moods. If you obey him in all the other lawful matters and keep your good Akhalq, then he will realize and come to terms with that even if it takes time for that to not abiding to his wanting you to lie or not wearing jewelry infront of Na mahram etc.
If you whole heatedly please him, he will feel that too. He might not like your acts of worship because of your extra concern and giving more time to it than when it comes to giving him his due right. You can also leave the mustahab worship when he wants you to be beside him. Do that for the sake of Allah which in turn will give you the same reward of the Tahajjud prayer you yearn to perform.
If he keeps on cursing and telling you some nasty things, dont take it to heart and infact forgive him so that Allah cannot punish him. You have made great amends if you silently do that remember. Allah is the All wise and when a person acts and speaks irrationally against the other, He knows where and when to account for that so you need not fear as long as you are performing your duty.
Although he doesn’t worship as much as you, one of his great plus points is that he is obedient to his parents which will earn him great reward. This might improve him with time. Give him some more chances and Allah will help you inshAllah.
Such are the thin lines of obedience to Allah that if once you realize, you will enjoy a sound relationship with your family inshAllah.

In the end we will also like to mention that, if you feel his conduct with you is n out reasonable then he maybe needing some other help like he maybe addicted to screen and that can cause people to be aggressive.

You are the best person to be able to tell this and help him accordingly. You may also want to take some help from others, who he may listen to. Like his parents.

InshaAllah all Goes well. Make plenty of dua
AAA team under Salma Aalvi.