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I can’t get over my past relation even after my marriage


Hi, l

Apologies as my question is a bit long.

Last Jan my family asked me to marry my cousin sister to which I opposed because I was already in a haram relation with a girl that belongs to a Hindu community. She showed interest in Islam and was ready to convert but my mother said No.

I took an isteqrara to ask Almighty if I shohld marry my cousin, I made dua asking Allah to show me the right path, the fact that I was in haram relation made me feel bad so thoughts came that if I married her everything would be halal and she can also become a Muslim but if I do that my entire family will be disappointed and they have done a lot of favors on my upbringing.

The isteqrara came positive for me to marry my cousin and I agreed at that time so everyone in the house got happy especially the girls dad.

Its been 5 months and I am still not over the other girl. I want to focus on what Allah has guided me to do.

I am getting rebellious thoughts, I am praying continuously, reciting Quran but there a void within me because I knew the girl from 7 years and was always talking to her whenever I had spare time in the day. Now I miss that and think should I have just married her without seeing the isteqrara and now that I have seen the isteqrara and decided to follow the path of Allah but its getting difficult.

I want to know if there is some guidance for me, I am very desperate and ready for paid islamic therapy vounselling sessions as well.

Thank you


Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question

I’m glad you were able to settle down with a Muslim wife. Indeed in it lies your happiness.
The past relation was not only unlawful but she was also an unbeliever. In both ways you would have lost a lot in life including your family as you mentioned yourself.

to focus on what’s happening now, it looks like you had gotten used to, to a certain Pattern of living with the other girl. Sit down with yourself and see what it was that you enjoyed in a relation and try and bring that in your married life, not because  you want to fill her place up, rather you want to bring that comfort and joy you’re looking for.

Marriage is a very holy contract between a man and a woman. They both have to be comfortable and hence, they need to adapt to ways that will make both feel happy and loved. Hence, it’s in your hands to listen to your wife and do the best for her and InshaAllah she Will do the same for you.

Remember for a successful marriage communication is extremely important

In the end , know that a step taken for Allah (az) will never let you down. InshaAllah make some efforts and you will see the fruits very soon

good luck