Ask an Alim
I am seeking a guide to the right path ensuring no negligence and that I do not omit in my duties
Q:To give up the pleasure of the world and submit my mind body and soul to Allah.
Based on these questions, I am seeking a guide to the right path ensuring no negligence and that I do not omit in my duties currently. The following points are based on me leaving my family and entire friends and family circle as well as my love for the financial element and beauty of this Dunya entirely – bearing in mind the possibility and permissibility.
I am 26 in sep, wife 2 kids, had business losses, career changes, education opportunities acceptance to uni and comfortable financial etc, and had lack of commitment to Islam as I have tirelessly been set of track. My current position in society are the following points:
1). I have a wife and 2 children a mother and father, would it be legitimate for me to migrate to a Muslim country to learn the Islam and abstain from western influence. Is this permissible?
2). My intention would be to initially migrating alone due to not placing my family in hardship of fulfilling their daily basic needs that are currently being met by my parents. Is this permissible?
3). My constant failure in staying steadfast on strict monotheism (Islam) has increased my commitment in displacing myself from a society like this into a Muslim society. This has been the root cause in failing to make that connection with Allah.
4). My aim is to place my wife and children in standard accommodation, with basic needs, and to provide them with the knowledge of the Islam and without importance to the education of the worldly affairs, eventually. Would this be permissible?
5). Would I be neglecting my duty as a husband, father, son, and brother; if I choose the path of Allah alone, as it is with the permission of Allah upon how, when and whom we reunite with, and at what time – consequently placing Allah and his messenger SAW before my family and commitments to Islam. Is this stance permissible?
6). My family are well off and have money, my parents will be supportive to my wife and kids, nonetheless my wife has a second place of safety in Pakistan, at her mothers house – that which she has much land and enough income to sustain herself and my family if need be. Is this enough security for them?
7). I have the intention in reuniting with my family (calling them from the UK to Pakistan – Muslim country) under the establishment of the truth of Islam, that which I can implement on my offspring and spouse bearing in mind my death being more closer to me than my plans (ie, death before the execution of my plans). Is it this the way of the righteous? should I adopt this position in life? This would be the ideal end goal until my meeting with the lord of the Arsh and Kursi!
8). I believe if I do authorise this plan, any commitments made prior (loans or establishments) to this change, that Allah will make it easy and possible for me to pay back any debts or commitments once (and after) I have surrendered my life to Allah. Whether the process of acquiring the pleasure of Allah and knowledge may exceed timescales of 10-15 years or more. Is this the correct mentality? If I die without being financially able to pay any of those commitments off, due to my migration, that Allah will not hold me liable?
9). My brother lives with my parents, as so do my family. They are not in any hardship – and we operate at a modern Muslim family level that practices Islam at our own leisure – at times with very little importance of its principles. My change to Islam has been unsuccessful at many times, as my family have also been a contributing factor due to this operating standard.
10). Examples of Abu Dharr RA have been appealing, moments whereby Abu Bakr RA; that which they have displayed a lack of concern to their families whilst engaging and in pursuance to the pleasure of our lord Allah the Almighty. Setting the benchmark high enough to make us understand as an ummah that when it comes to the mere actions or lifestyle adoption in attaining closeness to Allah, family and kinship remain of no value to the comparison. Is this the correct mindset to have?
Jazakallah kahirun, please be aware that your answer will effect a vast amount of people, I wish to remain anonymous, and respect any consideration and time given to my situation and question. The purpose for this movement is to attain taqwa at its peak, closeness to Allah, to kill my nafs and ultimately to eliminate my bad habits and stoppages in acquiring the knowledge of the deen.
Thank you for your love and time and effort, I hope to hear from you impatiently. May Allah reward you with Al Firdous, ameen.
Kind regards,
A brother in need.
Salamun Alaykum
Thank you for your query.
Answer 1:
وَمَنْ يُهَاجِرْ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ يَجِدْ فِي الْأَرْضِ مُرَاغَمًا كَثِيرًا وَسَعَةً وَمَنْ يَخْرُجْ مِنْ بَيْتِهِ مُهَاجِرًا إِلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ ثُمَّ يُدْرِكْهُ الْمَوْتُ فَقَدْ وَقَعَ أَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا
Whoever migrates in the way of Allah will find many havens and plenitude in the earth. And whoever leaves his home migrating toward Allah and His Apostle, and is then overtaken by death, his reward shall certainly fall on Allah, and Allah is all-forgiving, all-merciful.
It is very good for a person to migrate in the way of Allah and that is to learn Islam but it doesn’t mean you leave your family behind. Sometimes it becomes wajib to migrate if we fear our or our family’s ideology and faith is in danger.
It would be better if you are able to take your family as well but if you think they cannot go along then, as far as they can live and handle, you can migrate keeping in mind their necessities are being fulfilled as a husband, father and a son.
Answer 2:
If you think they can handle the situation then you can go alone. But the main issue must be analyzed properly that is you are leaving so you can stay away from Dunya. What if you stay with your parents and family and at the same time try to learn about Islam? If we increase our knowledge and try to implement it in our lives it can really change things.
Everyone has to live in this world. According to Quran and Ahadith, the world is categorized into good(praised worldممدوح = ) and bad(condemned worldمذموم = ). The good and praised world is the one where in we use the world and its blessings which leads towards Allah(swt) and the bad and the condemned world is the one which do not lead you towards your Lord. The second is condemned because it is the one that makes us get away from Allah(swt).
With the intention we can change the goals. If we are religious and a practical Muslim, we can change our lifestyle anywhere in the world. Of course, the environment does matter and the influences play an important role, but it never means it cannot be tried and succeeded.
Answer 3:
There are 2 types of Taqwa. One is to stay away from the environment and keep yourself pure which itself is good and the second Taqwa is to stay in the environment and be pious. Your questions shows you lack in knowledge of monotheism. Once a person strengthens his beliefs he can become a better Muslim.
There are thousands of free books which you can get and increase your knowledge. As you had mentioned you are worrying about staying on the correct monotheism.
I would recommend you to read the books regarding belief(Theology) to strengthen your beliefs. One of the easiest books to understand: www.al-islam.org/fifty-lessons-principles-belief-youth-naser-makarem-shirazi
Answer 4:
It is permissible as far as their basic requirements such as education, food etc. are met and you are migrating for a Halal purpose. There is no categorization such as Islamic knowledge and non Islamic knowledge. Everything is made by Allah (az) and your children need to know that. They need to learn the Quran and the Sunnah in such a way that they should be able to tell the excellence of God siting in a science or geography class. Besides that, perusing a career for children, who in return are going to be helping others with their expertise and earn a livelihood, is nothing but Ibadah.
Answer 5:
If you think it will help you and the family can handle themselves then it is permissible. You can also start the spiritual journey by reading Islamic books at home. However brother, looking after family, and learning Islam and living a pious life does not require you to leave your family or fulfill your obligations towards them. It is mandatory upon a husband to provide for his family. this obligation is set by Allah (az), and doing so is nothing but ibadah. Hence, your struggle for earning halal and striving to provide for your family is an act of worship and it does not stand against you gaining proximity to God Almighty.
You can use www.al-islam.org to read various books regarding different topics of Islam.
Answer 6:
If there is enough for them and can handle it is sufficient. Your decision seems to be that you can never get back to them. Make sure you are going to a correct place and not joining a group who are not following the correct Islam.
Even if you leave, make sure you can get back and often visit them because learning Islam doesn’t mean that you leave everything and everyone who is dependent on you. Your obligations towards them is not wiped out, even if your family is well to do or the wife can provide for herself and the children.
God has a purpose in placing a man and his wife as a unit. Breaking it definitely has consequences that God dislikes. Hence, if you have a genuine reason, like moving for a while so that you can make arrangement for the family to join you, then it sounds fair and only right. But if you have the intention of leaving them to your family, and adopt a journey that doesn’t involve them, then there is a problem in that and someone has been misguiding you.
Answer 7:
A person should remember his death but at the same time fulfill the duties and responsibilities as being a husband and a father. One wishes to die while he is with his family. Keeping in mind that the worldly issues which are performed to make our Akhirah are important and cannot be neglected. So, we should make sure all those who are dependent on us can live the life easily and happily. Along with the intention of death being close, the basic necessities should be gained and given to our family.
One should be ready for death. And remembering it is a good sign to become a better Muslim, but neglecting them and not loving them is not a sign of a good Mo’min. The love of Allah is superior but the same God has recommend us to take care of our family.
Answer 8:
As you haven’t mentioned the exact migration, it seems that the love of death is either because of anxiety or you are going on a journey where you are certain that you will meet your Lord. So first of all, this has to be clear enough for me to give a certain statement as people go and fight in the way of Islam but it has to be seen which side is it. One side is the one who has been destroying and tarnishing the image of true Islam which we never support.
But keeping in mind, you are going to learn about Islam and on the other hand you have taken loans, you should try to pay back asap but if it is due on long installments as you mentioned 10-15 years, then try your best to pay back as we never know when will we die. We should have enough so even if we die, the first thing is to be done is to pay the debts of the deceased person from his inheritance.
Answer 9:
I can totally understand, but you as a husband of the family, at least try to learn and teach your kids and implement it in your family first. I know it is very hard to do, but living a luxurious life, remembering all the money and luxury is given to your by the Almighty, why can’t we spend some time in learning and putting the things in our practical lives.
Allah gives us and tests us and also takes from us and tests us. You can use this life in the way of Islam and changing the lifestyle keeping in mind how you use this world. If you use this world just for the desires and to stay from the Almighty, this is condemned but if you use the blessings of this Dunya to gain the pleasure and proximity of Allah(swt), then this is recommended and praised.
knowing that your family is well to do. Maybe having a separate living arrangement can be the first step for yourself and family.
Answer 10:
We are living a social life where family and kinship is considered and one cannot stay away from them. It doesn’t mean that we cut off our relations while living with our family and relatives as cutting off relations is Haram. Skill is to live within the environment and be a practical and religious Muslim. One should love his family and provide their necessities and at the same time love His Lord. It shows the love of Allah(swt) should be superior to our love towards our family. Therefore, it never means to be negligent to our families and leave them alone. Islam is a religion of peace and teaches us to live a social life. We have to live in the society and at the same time be careful about our actions as we are responsible for our own actions.
Besides, it is Allah (az) Himself who has blessed us with a family in the first place. Shouldn’t one cherish what is a direct gift from Himself? wouldn’t God ask you of your negligence towards them and the obligations that it entails?
As it is said, “Charity begins at home” so try changing the things at your house along with the learning which is definitely required. Manage your time and spend some of the time reading Islamic books from the link I have provided above(learn Usoole Deen), pray 5 times a day, recite Quran every day and gradually start reading the translation. Send a lot of Salawat to get their help.
Start and try the things mentioned and see for a few weeks if it changes your life and helps you or not. This was the help I could do by writing back to you. The more you learn and implement, the more changes you will see in your life but if you stay the same your faith will never increase.
Have a stronger connection with the Ahlul Bayt(as): www.al-islam.org/shiite-encyclopedia/who-are-ahlul-bayt-part-1
If there is something what you have not mentioned such as the purpose of migration other than that of learning, then please make sure you mention that and get a clear guidance. As all the above answers are answered keeping the purpose of migration to stay away from the bad environment and to learn Islam.
One has to be careful what he is engaging himself with. These days, some, So called “Muslims”offer proximity to God on ideologies that aren’t really supported and agreed to by all schools of thought; both Shia and sunni. It is best to be very planned and get many scholarly opinion on this.
we will suggest you read about one of these dangerous ideologies, Wahabiism, and fully understand it before committing to anything:
https://www.al-islam.org/wahhabism-2nd-edition-revised-edited-and-annotated-jafar-subhani
Allaho A’alam
May Allah(swt) grant you success
Wassalam,
AAA team under the guidance of Syed Haider
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