The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

I am facing issues with my in laws

Q:

Aoa.. I am facing issues with my in laws. I had been living with them since last 2 years. Last month , when my mother in law went for hajj, my father in law and brother in law fought with me on a trivial issue .. they insulted me , abused me, my father in law slightly punched me and my brother in law punched me so hard on bed that I had a big bruise on my leg. When my husband came back from office , they asked him to take me away, so we rented a house and started living there. I only informed my elder brother and my uncle about the incident and hid it from everyone else to keep the respect of my husband’s family. Now, my mother in law, is back from hajj, she started pressurizing my husband emotionally to bring me back. She cried and put her head cover on my husband’s feet to save her respect in society and bring me back for 6 months so that she can get her other son married. I dont want to go back, because I dont have any respect for them. But on my husband’s insistence, I have agreed to go back, but I asked him to get his parents to my brother so that he can talk to them to ensure my security in future (and because it will retain my self respect which will be ruined if I go back with my husband without any of them coming to receive me). But they are not ready for it . They want my husband to get me back or if needed they can send some of close relatives to receive me. My husband insists me to come back but I dint accept. My question is, what should me and my husband do in such a situation?

A:
Waalykum salam 

 
Thank you for your question and Sorry to hear about your experience. 
 
It is only wise to live away from threats. And as you put it, it will be even wiser if your parents in law have some sort of guarantee that this thing is not going to repeat in the future. 
 
But most important thing for you to do would be to make sure that you don’t loose that bond and tie with your husband. After all you’re affiliated to this family because of him! 
I feel the solution lies with the two of you. Both of you get together, write down all the pros and cons of each side and select the one that gives you most benefit. Keep in mind that he is very very important and your love and understating should be the first and fire most thing. 
 
On a side note, your husband should be the one who fends for your right and respect in the family. It is the obligation on a man to make sure his wife is at ease and and secured. 
Make sure your have a good communication bridge with your husband otherwise this can lead to future problem between you. 
 
InshaAllah all goes well.
Kind regards,

Naajiya Jaffery