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Husbands Domestic violence and extra marital affair ….



I am 25 yrs old my husband is 30 yrs old we have a daughter 22 months old. We will complete 3 years of wedding this december. Few days back I found my husband is having affair with many women and one woman is his cousin aunt(fuppi 38 yrs old) she is unmarried. He was in relations with different women even when I was pregnant. When I told their family about all this, My husband hit me like an animal ,he snatched my phone. He often beats me and saying I am his wife so he has all rights to beat me. After that I came to my parents home and living here since a month. He does not have father ,his mother came once to take me home but I refused, next time she came took side of her son. My husband did not approach me even once. He uses Talaq word 100 times a day but I ignored everything all the times because of my daughter but this time I want a divorce because he is ill treating me for a long time and I was patient with him,  but this time he crossed all his limits. My parents want me to go back again to him. I don’t know what I should do please help. I am well educated am a holder, I recite salah 5 times a day,I am good looking well mannered. I don’t know why all these happened to me and my daughter. Please help!!


Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your question

Husbands don’t have the right to beat their wives especially in cases where they are caught responsible for doing a wrong thing.

Sometimes it is not possible or is difficult to correctly diagnose the problem by consulting online.

First of all, it should be checked to what extent is the relationship between your husband and others?

Some things need proper analysis to conclude.

The following things can be checked and identified in face-to-face or phone consultation:

  • What are the practical ways to avoid unfaithfulness to your partner?
  • What are the ways to prevent and deal with unfaithful?
  • How to secure cyberspace for myself and my partner?
  • How to deal with my partner’s betrayal and rebuild my life?
  • How should I treat my partner who has cheated?
  • What to do with its psychological pressure?
  • Is this life reversible or should I get a divorce?
  • What should I do so that he doesn’t cheat anymore?

If you think you cannot tolerate this life any longer then you can do what you see is better either by separating as you mentioned but if you think things can reverse and he realizes his mistakes and want to carry on his life with you then you can try re uniting and see if it works out. If you decide to re unite, then make sure you speak about these things before you return to your house in order to prevent further mishaps and misunderstandings. You can make it clear that if his Haram relations are up to high extent then this is not tolerable neither by Islam nor by a partner. As everyone in this world wills and has the right to live a happy life and this is why one tries to stay together to keep children’s life move smoothly.

Remember, divorce is the last step to be taken but if nothing works then this is the last option you can adopt.

On the other hand, keep praying 5 times a day, reciting Quran and reciting Duas to help you in this situation. Send a lot of Salawat and ask Ahlul Bayt to help you in this matter.

God knows best.

May Allah(swt) grant you success


Syed Haider