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husband rights over wife’s earnings


Assalamuailaikum I am in desperate need of advise and would like to the rights of a women of earnings. Me and my husband are having marriage problems over money. I have worked under the permission of my husband to work. They money i had, i have saved and spent. I currently not working as i am now a full time mom and my husband provides for me and my son. I have spent lost of my money which my husband is not happy about. I have paid an outstanding debt that came up from before i was married and was not aware off and spent most of earnings. He is demanding to see my bank statements to see what i have spent? I would like to know what my rights over my earnings? Does he have a right to know how i have spent my money? Do i have a right giving to my parents? What right does he have over my earnings? Does he have a right to demand to see my bank statements? I also borrowed some money from my family (aunties/nan) and it was for a house we was to buy but due to lack of money we have put it on hold. Now my family would like there money back and he doesnt belive the have given me it and wants proof? He has trust issues with me as i did not tell him of the money i have spent and outstanding debt i had. Basically i kept things away from him and it was only due to the way he is with me. He don’t understand and instead solving matters together he always geta angry and starts shouting or blaming me for my actions so i hidden certain things from him. I maybe at fault for not telling him things i should off and not kept anything from him. Islamically i need to know where i stand and what rights he has? Can he question me? i need proof islamically so i can show or provide him so he understands? Can u send me links or statmements etc? Please can you come back to me as soon as possible as this is affecting mentally and a great deal of stress. I am currently got depression and anxiety. I really need peace and i want to do what is right and not feel gulity and sad of i have not done anything wrong. Salaam

Salam Alikum
Thank You for your question.
According to the law of Islam, a woman has all the right to earn and own property. She doesn’t need any permission to spend her money in what she pleases.  Islam also emphasizes marital relations and harmony between the spouses. There should be an understanding  between the husband and wife such that they can talk to each other and confide and solve their problems together.  If this cannot be done, then at least one should try their level best not to provoke the other and the woman is most suitable for this because of her soft hearted nature.
you have the right towards your property and money as far as ownership is concerned, but He also has a right over you as far as your relationship with him is concerned. Thus the only thing you can do apologise for your behaviour and politely speak to him about the law of Islam allowing women to own their own property and spend it the way they like without showing any proofs.  If he comes to terms with that, well and good but if not, keep on trying to win him over even if it means that you should grant him some of the benefits of your earnings and show him all your documents, and at the same time apologizing. Believe me, if he is a good husband for you, its worth the while.  In Islam, it is completely alright for the wife to share the expenses with her husband if it is willingly done.  Infact, it procures a great deal of reward too.  We also have examples of Hazrat Khadija helping the Holy Prophet in the way of Islam.
If your intention is to save your marriage by being humble to him, then remember, you also are doing everything to patch up in the way of Islam also..
After youve done your best, leave the rest to Allah.  inshAllah He will guide and reward you if you keep on the way of the truth.
I haven’t come across any link in English language but there are persian and Arabic links discussed on these issues.
Salma Khalfan.