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Husband not compromising in any way.


Assalam alaikum..I’ve been married since 4 and a half years now and have a 3 year old son Alhamdulillah..My husband and we never lived together for more than a month as I’m in a job in another city and live with my mother and sister and my husband never wanted me to leave the job . My father died 8 years ago and i don’t have a brother .I’ve always wanted to leave the job and live a normal healthy married life according to shareeah but my husband doesn’t follow much islam…he doesn’t pray or fast..keeps telling me akhlaq is the most important thing and he has humiliated me a number of times by saying indirectly that even if i pray religiously, it’ll not be accepted as my akhlaq isn’t good.he doesn’t like my mother because inspite of being disrespectful to her a number of times and being bad towards me , he wants her to treat him in a way where he is given super special treatment every time he comes to visit me and our son (which is once a month).he and his family now says that my mother’s akhlaq is very bad because they want her to behave very sweetly even if her daughter is we are living without a man and have to look after ourselves in every mother is taking responsibility of me and my son .my husband rarely offers to help with any of the household chore evenif involves going outside which sometimes is difficult for the ladies.recently i found out that he talks to non mahram ladies on phone and the conversations were indecent and this has been the case since the starting of our marriage till completely shattered.i talked to my mother in law about it but she didn’t believe me instead she said cruel things about me and my mother..i don’t know what to husband never likes to spend money on me or our son because he feels I’m financially independent instead expects me to spend on him,doesn’teven try to keep me and our son with him and he doesn’t observe basic tenets of islam which has made me really heartbroken.please guide.i have tried to adjust and compromise according to my husband’s wish but he never compromises in any way .what should i do


Wa alaykum salaam

I am sorry for what you have to go through. May Allah help you.
One of the philosophies of marriage is that husband and wife by being near each other be a source of contentment for each other

A husband who doesn’t want to stay near his family or support (morally,financially) his family, is not a good and responsible husband according to Islam.

My suggestion is that you should sternly speak to him and tell him you want to stay near him otherwise your married life will be effected.
If you can’t speak to him yourself you can ask a reliable and influential person to do that on your behalf.
But before you take this step, you should ask yourself “do I really want to stay with him” or to be precise “CAN I stay with him”.
As you mentioned, that he is not a religious person and makes fun of you when you pray, treats you very badly and has relations with other women.

It MIGHT be possible for you change him through your good character,love and kindness but it all depends on how much tolerance you have. It might take long for him to bring a change in himself and it is also possible that he never changes.
If you think you can tolerate this state, then you should ahead and give it a try.
InshaAllah, Allah will make it easy for you.
Also, it is obligatory on a husband to provide for his wife and children. Therefore, regardless the fact that you are working and independent he still needs to provide for you and your child.
InshaAllah all goes well.

AAA under the guidance of Sukaina Taqawi