The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

Husband does not consider my feelings.

Q:

Assalam u Alikum, l love my husband , 17 years of marriage he tried to rule me, he loves me but he in logically rule me, stubborn , I I claim to consider my feelings also in every decision he said your nashukri jahanumi, I am not his enjoyment , I feel as I am his maid, what to do ? Dont show my name on web site

A:

Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It can be very hard living with someone you love but he appreciates it as a little less!?

From your writing I can tell that he too loves you but expresses less and may have a harsh Language at times. For this my sister, you will have to do a few things:

1- avoid the circumstances and situations where he ends up calling you those words. When these words aren’t repeated often, he might end up not using them at all. This will take time and patience but InshaAllah you Will see the fruits of it soon.

2- take some privileges for yourself in easy and simple matters. At times, ones spouse may take the other for granted because s/he is too loving, Giving and sacrificing Al the time. These qualities are excellent but one must balance them. Marriage is a two way traffic. Give and take! So please continue loving and caring for your husband but at times you should also be receiving the same from him.

If you find this Hard, then you must try and a make a means of communication. This can be verbal, writing, phone message… etc, anything that will convey your message to him politely and have least of reactions from his side.
Until you’re not able to express your worry and concerns, I’m afraid things will be hard for both of you.

3- make Dua for yourself. You see at times we think everything is in own hands while there is a Greater Powerful being who has ALL our affairs in His hands. You must Make plenty of dua and InshaAllah Allah will pave paths for you that you never thought of for yourself.

InshaAllah all Goes well and you’re able to enjoy your life

Kind regards

N.S.Jaffery

Wa alaykum salam

Thank you for the question.
One of the most important thing in a marriage is love between the spouses.
It is very pleasing to know that you love each other.
Love does miracles.With a little bit of patience, sincerity, sweetness, management, and DUA, it is possible to bring positive changes in your life.
May Allah help you.

Some books you can refer to :

https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-family-life-allamah-sayyid-saeed-akhtar-rizvi

https://www.al-islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-islam-ayatullah-ibrahim-amini

https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-family-life-ethics-ayatullah-husayn-mazaheri

Regards
Sukaina Taqawi.