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Husband chats with his female colleague

Q:

My husband is chatting with colleagues late at night even when I am around. I checked his messages nothing was wrong just casual chat. Still feel insecure and possessive. Why he needs to chat with a girl if I am there. Earlier he would say he is tired and cannot talk during the night with me. I also leave him since he has high BP and giddiness. He is chatting and pretending like he is playing games and will say since he has gastric problems scared to sleep earlier. Whether something will happen.. I am pregnant now and I need to sleep on time. But am in lack of sleep. I am worried during holidays also he will chat and show up he is playing. I need transparency between us. Please suggest some advice for me to come out. Other than this he is a good husband and good father, but slightly short-tempered. I am worried if I try to control whether his BP will shoot up. I m crying and crazy every day.

A:

Waalaylkum al-Salam sister
Thank you for your question.

It looks like you’re not able to communicate well with your husband. It is good you are regarding his medical issues and yours too. However, conveying your liking, worries and or concern doesn’t have to be unpleasant. A couple is expected to be a good fit, in the sense that, both of you are comfortable with one another and no one is unnecessarily tolerating a behaviour or ill act. This needs to be resolved as soon as possible to have a better forward and also be better parents than you will be where you are standing at the moment.

compromise is one of the keys to a successful marriage. But compromise on things that matter and affect your relationship must be spoken about and get rid of them or solve them insha’Allah.
You may also want to bring to his kind attention, with very polite and healthy intentions, that speaking to non-mahram is not permissible. (This may come harsh when you first mention it, please make sure you use a way or technique to convey this to him. it can be through casual talk or a foreign example).

Also sister, during pregnancy, women tend to become sensitive and small things can bother them easily. Hence, it’s best to evaluate your issue well before adopting ways to resolve them.
counlsing can immensely help you.

InshaAllah all goes well,
regards,
N.S.Jaffery