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husband and in laws relation

Q:

Assalam oo alikum, My husbands parents have expired long time back. Ours is arrange marriage. I never questioned my husband about anything and never stopped him from meeting his sisters. The problem is he trusts his sisters more then me. he lies to me and meets them. he is not having good terms with my family and never meets them as well. I don’t complain but it hurts when he treats me and my family like this and expects me to meet and cook for his sisters. i recently came to know about him lying and meeting his sisters. he tells me he is going out for some work and then later he is with them. Is it good? how do i handle this situation? there have been times his sisters created a lot of misunderstandings between us, he knows that but still supports them.

A:

Assalamu Alaykum

Thank you for your question

Marriage is based on trust and understanding. And this is a two way thing. The relation between a husband and wife should be such that they are comfortable with one another and have confidence on their bond.

in regards to your husbands relation with his sister, it is important to know that it is obligatory (Wajib) on him to maintain this relation with them. ‘ sile Rahim’  has a lot of emphasis in Islam. Allah (az) has placed a lot of blessings in it. For a good read on the topic please refer to the following link:

https://www.al-islam.org/anecdotes-reflection-part-3-sayyid-ali-akbar-sadaaqat/53-silah-rahim

As for him not telling you about the relation, and that he ends up lying about it, it’s best that it s sorted between you. Since you know that sile Rahim is Wajib on him, it shouldn’t be an issue if he saw them. You can assure him of the same; that it’s ok for him to see them. This will help you bond and you will be able to communicate better.

As for him not speaking to your family. Let it not bother you for now. Once the things get better between the two of you and he sees how understanding you are about sile Rahim with his sisters, things can get smooth and InshaAllah you Can try and bring him in your family again. For now, speak to your parents and ask them to give him some time InshaAllah.

Regarding serving his sisters, you aren’t obliged Per se, but if you do it once in while to please your husband, then he too will try and revert with the same, or even better, for your family.

My last suggestion to you would be that bond yourselves in such a way that no third person can speak between you. The most effective way is to speak to one another with calmness and respect.
InshaAllah all Goes well
Regards,
N.S.Jaffery