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how to keep Relationship Halal


Asalam o alaikum Im writing because I have a question about my relationship of now 6years almost and I’m 19years old, So in 2013 this guy came to me and we started talking and we fell in love and at that time I didn’t know anything at all about religion,so I was in relationship with this guy and till now and we did a lot of things that are considerate as haram in the Quran. And he promised me that he will marry me etc but now that I’m a little mature I think of all of those things and i kind of regret as a Muslim, but we still love each other the same and we never did anything wrong to anyone. But when I talk to him that we should stop doing « haram » things , he says that for him I’m his wife and His nyat is pure for me. when he says that to me I cannot do anything because I feel ill hurt his feelings because he has done so much for me since 6 yrs but in the same time I’m afraid to go far from allah and I’m scared from allah after all of this but I can’t lose that guys also. So my questions are : How can I ask forgiveness ? as I know it’s wrong everything that happened. What should we do to keep it halal ? And Can all those haram things affect our relationship or take us apart? I mean will allah punish us by taking us apart? Please I’ll wait for my answers . JazakAllah


Waalykum salam 

Thank you for your Question,
First of, it takes great courage and stamina to get to the realization you’re standing on at now! So Alhamdulillah you’re  very well stepping on the most difficult grounds and that is much appreciated by God Almighty.
My dear Sister, Allah is extra loving and Merciful, once you repent, HE forgives you! But the condition of an accepted repentance is that one should never go back to the same sin again. In your case, it would be to stop this relation immediately and totally submit your self to HIM (swt).
However, after reading your Question, I can see that this is actually your fear and you don’t want to loose upon the that case, the only way to keep this relation halal would be for him to send s decent proposal and officially ask your hand in marriage. As soon as this is done your Mutah (Sighah of Mahramiyah) can be recited and you guys can be considered man and wife.
The above is not applicable now since any girl -who is not married and consummated- cannot have a  Sighah recited without her Fathers consent.
I hope all goes well and that you’re able to Make your Lord happy above all and then the rest.
Kind regards, ’


Naajiya Jaffery