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How to deal with parents and wife?

Q:

Asalamualikum warehmatullah ,
Sir , I am married for 4 yrs now . I work in Dubai, my family stays in India . I am the eldest son of my parents. I love my parents and my wife a lot but I am unable to coordinate between them. My wife wants to stay with me, she doesn’t want to stay away from me. When I call my wife to stay with me my family doesn’t cooperate with me they hate me for this. When my wife stays with them they will be quiet for some time but later they misbehave with my wife taunting her for not having children yet, insulting her family, insults her for being in my life. My wife is quite emotional but she doesn’t agrue back with them . If i try to say them that its wrong or not to behave rude with her they misunderstand me always. In return argue with me . Please help me, How should i deal with this issue? However hard I try my parents don’t understand us. They make me feel I am bad to them .. Please help me.

A:

Al-Salam Alaykum
Thank you for your query,

I suggest you try to talk to them in the calmest environment when your wife is not around, in private. If they are not ready to accept your direct talk, try to speak with them indirectly by telling stories of others or if you know Hadithes that suit your situation. I suggest you read the 24th Dua of Sahifa Sajjadiyah for your parent.

If the above suggestion is not working, in such a situation, as we can not change others, I suggest changing ourselves. Remind yourself that your parent will not be around for long years and if you do not cherish this opportunity you will regret it later. Talk to your wife and tell her to bear their misbehaviour as they might tolerate ours at our young ages. Try to make her happy and compensate for their behaviour in your private time with her with more talk attention and love.

Also, try to make easy time with your parent for your wife by separating your living space from your parent for example if there is a way to stay in a separate accommodation or someplace else and go to your parent and visit them. try to make programs for example book reading or watching good movies or family activities so they do not get the time to go off topic and harass her.

Best regards
Sayyid Madani