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how to deal with jealousy and possessiveness in married life

Q:

Assalamu alaykum sheikh, I really don’t know what to do? I am having some jealousy & hatred towards my wife brother in law because once she praised him for how he looks after her sister & also once my wife was pregnant and her brother in law organised baby shower for her and invited us to attend but I refused due to work etc but he still insisted to take my wife alone in his car even if I’m not coming. I don’t know if my this kind of jealously is just, or am I being too possessive with my wife. I haven’t expressed my anger yet to anyone, especially my wife’s brother in law due to both sisters might break up ties etc What should I do? , if I stay silence it’s killing me inside and if I speak up then the both sisters would break up ties

A:

Waalykum salam brother 

Thank you for your Question
You have all right to be concerned since your wife and her brother in law are na Mahram and any such interaction should be avoided.
However, I’d suggest you get some counseling for yourself at this point. When a woman praises another relation, she is trying to hint that there is something missing in their own and that the husband should roll up his sleeves and try harder.
While comparing self to others is wrong, but if you feel that she maybe wanting and expecting something else from you, then make sure you complete remove this between yourselves by having a good communication bridge. Once you’re able to speak to one another without the fear of the other getting angry or judging, you will be able to have a more compatible life.
This is even more important because you’re going to be parents soon InshaAllah.
Hope all goes well and you’re able to enjoy your child together

 

Naajiya Jaffery