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How to ask Allah for help in times of grave danger?

Q:

Assalamu Alaikum, I am a 24 years old student. I had a severe psychological problem and i suffered from severe anxiety problems for the past 3 years. and for this I could not complete my three year intakes of four year University course. Before that I was pious boy who used to pray and research on Islam. But suddenly I don’t know how some evil force took me away from all the good deeds that i used to do. I did not even feel the guilt for not attending the fard and jummah praters! something very wrong happened to me. But that was not the end. back in the 2012 I was having a little abnormality in my heart beat so i went to a local Doctor he then did a ECG and suggested me to get admitted into his hospital. when I was coming back from his chamber a thought hit on my mind that why would he suggest me to be hospitalized immediately and i felt massive anxiety which I was not familiar with so i couldn’t control it I became very nervous(because i was thinking what if “the doctor” was right) and my BP went high then I was hospitalized. I was there for two days and my medical diagnosis found no such abnormalities. But a nurse told me that my doctor was saying that i had a mild heart attack! After I came home, that word form the nurse got stuck in my mind and could not overcome. Anxiety came back again and again. I could not dare sleep alone and my sleep was gone. I switched my doctor after 4 months of that incident and I found an Experienced Cardiologist Surgeon. when went to that doctor I shared my thoughts and diagnostic reports with him. He checked me and then he just smiled at me and told me that I had nothing to worry and gave me a diet plan. But some how the ghost of my past came in regular intervals. I then joined a local musical group so that I could at least keep all those thoughts away. I thought If music could cure me. and I passed a year in that. But at the end that did not work! The music therapy was even confusing me. One day, I was thinking that there must be something that I was missing and i remembered Allah. So I planned to go to the Jummah prayers. When I entered the Mosque for the first time in almost 18 months i was excited and i tried to hear the khutbah of the Imaam…but suddenly anxiety came back and I became sweaty and my heart rate went high. I Immediately came out from the mosque and reached my home slowly. Just when I entered my room I felt as if there was no anxiety. But i tried to go to jumma prayers again and again but I could not because to the anxiety. i encountered the same issue in my University classes. So i had to skip 9 semesters(2 yrs equivalent). one day(5 months ago) I was so exhausted with this anxiety issue that I made me determined to attend the Jummah prayer to negotiate with my Lord Allah. at first i felt a little bit high heart rate but as i was determined I prayed and I started to feel that the anxiety was gone and I felt so light so i cried over and over as if in side my mind there was a boy who was crying out loud with the tears of joy. For the first time in almost three years I have offered a jummah prayer completely! That was a divine experience. I assume Allah had granted my prayer. But the problem doesn’t end here! nowadays when ever i think about the time I lost in my education i feel depressed so depressed that i cry each time pray to Allah. I am now 25. I should’ve already been a graduate if i had not skipped those semesters. But If I start from now I would me 28. I told my parents that I skipped only 1 and a half year! And that was a lie!!! My soul is starting to fall apart in stress and disappointment. I am in a grave danger as i fear to loose my mental strength again. I need help. I think only Allah can help me But I don’t know how to please him.

A:

Bismillah

Alaikum Salaam

It sounds as though you have had an exhausting couple of years and  mashallah your struggle to keep going back to salaat and jummah prayers  is admirable. You must not be harsh on yourself about the years and time you lost- this was a difficult test from Allah (swt) and the most important  thing you could do is focus on passing the test by holding on to your  faith in Him. Education and all other worldly achievements are very  small compared to this.
The first step to achieving the peace you are looking for is acceptance of  the past and to forgive yourself for everything you had gone through.  Allah is all forgiving, and there is no need to let the past be a source of stress for you. I hope inshallah you find the peace you are looking  for. The stress and anxiety that you are experiencing, since it is more than  normal and possibly getting in the way of your daily life, needs to be  dealt with an experienced consultant in these matters. If it is possible for you to go to an Islamic counselor, I would highly recommend that course of action. If there is any scholar that you have  access to for more help, a scholar that is understanding in this field,  he may be able to help you and guide you towards strengthening your relationship.
with Allah (swt). 

May He (s) grant you tawfiq

Miqdad R