The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

Ask an Alim

How should I convince my parents to marry a girl i like


I am just 22 yrs old . I in deeply in love with a girl , i know I have
sinned (i.e loved her ). Alhumdulillah i have my eman and i haven’t touched her
or had any bad intentions, she is a very religious girl prays 5 times a day
and even tahajud , i haven’t seen any religious girl than her in my life .
I talked to my parents about her and they rejected her just because of
cultural differences. I can’t leave her neither can i disobey what my parents
tell me to … what should i do? What does Islam say about it ?


Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

Islam wants people to live a prosperous life living in the form of a society which is made up of families. Regarding marriage one is encouraged to research more about the other party before getting engaged. Normally, the parents find and select the girl according to the requirements but this doesn’t mean a child cannot show his interest whom he/she wants to marry.

You have the right to tell your parents who you like and they have the right to look from their own perspective. Because when a person falls in love he/she don’t see the other sides’ faults which are later seen after the marriage.

So consider your parents’ views as well in this case. Although a son can marry himself but in your case I would recommend you to get more consultation and advice so you can come to a right conclusion.

Sometimes, parents see the cultural difference to be the main point of dispute in the future married life. As the parent’s see their children’s newly love they consider their own opinions which are very useful for the child as the parents have more experience in the practical life.

Speak more with your parents regarding the same issue and try to find out what are the cultural differences which they think may cause the problem.

This doesn’t mean at all that one should marry in his/her own culture with a bad person and not outside his culture where he/she is getting a better Muslim to marry with.

Also, one must take care that even if the son can marry without his parents permission but the parents shouldn’t get hurt from the decision which may cause disputes within the family itself who have been staying together for 20+ years


Syed Haider