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How should I advice my friend to stop consuming Alcohol


Assalmo Alaikum. Almost a year ago, i found out that one of my friends is in a physical relationship with a man and they both drink alcohol as well. That made me question every single thing she ever told me about herself. It really hurt that i had been played a fool for so many years. I felt betrayed. At first I became distant. Then i saw that she has had so many tragedies in her life. She is broken. I never told anyone her secret not even her afterall, we’re all sinners. But there is this doubt sitting at the back of my mind. I have promised her to stay by her side but if she is hiding that much about herself are we even friends? What should i do? I know she will throw me away the second i tell her not to do such things. She is stubborn.
(please keep this anonymous)


Wa Alaikum al-salam

thanks for your question

It is very good that you have such a concern for your friends; Enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong (or Command the good and forbid the bad) is one of pillars of Islam which has different levels:

  1. By heart: Enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong in our heart means not being neutral about wrongness or rightness in our heart, in this stage we like good deed and those who practice them and dislike wrong deeds and those who practice that in our heart, even if we don’t say anything. Imam Ali a.s in hadith n.154 of Nahjul Balahga says: He who agrees with the action of a group of persons is as though he joins them in that action. And every one who joins in wrong commits two sins; one sin for committing the wrong and the other for agreeing with it.
  2. By tongue: next level is by tongue, meaning to express our like and dislike through our tongue. It doesn’t have to be harsh or in bad tone sometimes we can do so implicitly, like mentioning problem of consuming alchol etc.
  3. By action: to do good and prevent bad. Keep in mind that the heart has some external signs (for example if we like something or someone it is shown in our action, even if we want to hide it, this feeling finds a way to our action like a smile or a frown etc.)

You can start acting a little cold to her and move to next level by talking to her (if you think being explicit has no effect try implicit way), and in the last level you can cut your relation with her for a while


Sheikh Mahdi Mosayyebi