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How do I stay in hijab and not let myself feel demotivated by my cousins.


I’ve a loving family and loving relatives.

all of my cousins , they’re super modern, their western stylish dressing and their beautiful make up , they wear everything that’s in fashion. Jeans T-shirts. I’m a 19 year old Pakistani women, I take a chadar that covers me from head to toe, my cousins mock me, they give weird reactions to my wear. In every family picnic im the one who looks least highlighted and dull while my cousins they look like film stars they look pretty stylish and modern. I want to keep myself in chadar, I want to please Allah, I don’t want imam mehdi a.s to cry because of my sins, I want to be modest but that shine and beauty of my same aged cousins, Their sparkling make up and their outfits make me embarrassed. I’ve no courage to compete with them, how do I manage this? How do I stay in chadar and not let myself feel demotivated by my cousins.


Salaamun Alikum respected sister in Islam

Thank you for your Question.

A Muslim woman is obliged to avoid exposing herself in a way that will send an inviting signal to the opposite gender, who are her non-Mahram. However, she should certainly appear nice and respectful. One must be careful in choosing her dress code. Wearing a proper hijab outside the house and among men is wajib.  But one can certainly dress up, as much as she wishes, when she is among women and her mahrams. Your cousins are not your competition in the first place. Don’t compete, even in your mind, with those who have gone against the laws of God Almighty. Covering yourself, and having a modest wearing is what Allah has made mandatory upon us and we must follow suit. Those that have chosen not to do so, have not done so to compete with you, rather, they have chosen to stand against the one who has not only fashioned them, but also, laid out rules for them, to follow.

Sister, hijab is made to protect and build our confidence. It is meant to boost our healthy self esteem and not to feel otherwise. Therefore, you must understand the importance of hijab and how important it is to practice it.

It is not important to shine like a film star among lay people. It doesn’t bring you any good. But shinning for Allah (az) will bring you the ENTIRE good. And you will certainly see the good as you go.

I will suggest you take good care of yourself. Be up to date with your wearing and dressing up when among women and Mahrams. Look good, smell good and think good. Don’t do so to compete. Do so to enjoy the sense of beauty Allah has blessed you with. Dress smart and modest among men; in a way that you are least approachable with ill intentions. Trust me, the same cousins will envy your confidence and status. And then InshaAllah it will be your turn to propagate hijab and help others.

May Allah keep you safe and make you join the Mahdi (af) who you so dearly think of.