Ask an Alim

Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

From the question, it clearly shows that you used to be a person who does his work and every job in a complete way with success and along with others’ admiration. And this made you continue the success in the future to reach the greater goals, and now due to the lack of success in some tasks or goals, you have lost the motivation and are experiencing excessive anxiety and stress, in such a way that which has lost its natural way.

The best method of treatment for these sort of problems – due to the fact that this problem is related to the individual’s personality and accurate diagnosis and the underlying factors of this problem requires careful clinical examination – is visiting an expert psychologist who specializes in anxiety and depression problems by evaluating and finding the root of the problem in order to suggest and treat this problem by giving different methods according to individual’s conditions.

Before or without consulting the doctor, you can overcome this problem to a great extent by cognitive restructuring (changing problematic thoughts, all-seeing attitudes and extreme partiality in doing things). You must learn to balance your goals, desires and the realities of your life (possibilities, abilities, talents, and living conditions). The smaller and closer the distance between the goals, desires and realities of life, the greater the probability of success and achieving it. And on the other hand, the greater the distance between the desires, goals and realities of life, the greater the probability of failure and anxiety and stress.

Also, in no way should you compare yourself with others in achieving your goals, because everyone has their own conditions.

We recommend that without being afraid of judgment and speaking about people’s logic, you should start with small goals at the beginning considering your talent, ability and conditions of life. And after succeeding in the smaller tasks, move to medium goals, and after succeeding in them, step up and move to the greater and bigger goals of life. What is important here is not reaching lofty and big goals but rather your efforts and satisfaction with life.

Remove the despair and hopelessness from your life and move forward but if you are still trapped in hopelessness then remember you won’t be able to achieve the greater goals in life. There is a way if there is a will, so have determination with small to bigger goals set up in your life. When you start with the small goals and if you start getting achievements keep going on to the medium and then bigger ones but don’t start with the bigger goal and get disappointed if you do not accomplish it.

You can make a To-do list and write your desires and goals on it and gradually after each accomplishment, put a tick next to the ones accomplished. Never get disheartened if your desires are not fulfilled, as far as you reach your goals your life would be prosperous In sha’Allah.

Try to do the following regularly

1. Recite Namaz five times a day on awwale waqt;
2. Recite Quran every day;
3. Recite Ayatul Kursi every day
4. Recite Istighfar and Salawat Tasbeeh every day as much as possible.
5. Perform wajibat and refrain from Haram to become a better Momin.

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider