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Hassad problems within close family

Q:

Assalam’walaikum. “I/we seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah (SWT) from every devil, every poisonous reptile and every evil eye…” This has become one of the duaahs that my wife and I regularly recite because of challenging situation that we are in. For several years now my wife and I have dealt with tension and a fragmented relationship between my mother and my wife. It started out as the typical Indian/Pakistani mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrels. We have tried to live as a joint family multiple times but it was too stressful and not a harmonious solution for my wife and I nor for my parents. We finally decided it was in everyone’s best interest to live separately and get our own apartment/home and not have my parents living with us.

Even during the time we lived together with my parents – and then much more frequently after moving separately- my wife has suffered physically for many months at a time, going to doctors and having medical tests done for neurological issues, auto-immume diseases, hormonal imbalance, etc. No tests done have every led to any medical diagnosis. After finally doing our own research and looking into spiritual sickness/symptoms/causes we consulted with an Imaam who was consulting many families on various issues (social, health, religions, spiritual, etc.). After only listening to selected verses from the Holy Quran (Ruqaiya verses) and reciting specific duahs after fajr and maghrib prayers, my wife made a great recovery in her health. She had to recite or listen to these verses for few weeks consecutively, without missing a single day. Now she recites them occasionally but since mostly she is healthy, she is not so regular with reciting these ‘adhkars’ in morning and evening.

When we spend some time with my mother, purely for the sake and pleasure of Allah (swt) the pains my wife used to feel slowly return. They are not as intense or painful but they are noticeable and they are undoubtedly related to the same spiritual sickness my wife was suffering from before. We are in a predicament. I cannot completely sever my ties with my mother, even though our relationship has naturally suffered and I do not feel as close to her now as I used to prior to these issues. I cannot also accuse her openly of something (having hassad/Aiyn towards my wife) because I have not physical/documented proof. What is the solution to this issue? I do not know if my mother knowingly causes this pain with the hassad/aiyn she feels towards my wife/us but in any case- it is my wife that is suffering. Naturally, our marriage also suffers because of this pain she feels – because I am the link for this pain caused by my mother. Alhamdo’lillah my wife has such a clean heart and still initiates kind gestures for my mother – inviting her and cooking food for her when she is in town (she lives out of town with another sibling of mine), having her spend a night with us when she visits, giving her gifts, trying to be kind and civil with her even after suffering for many years because of the ill feelings my mother has towards her…..but it always happens that when my mother is in town my wife’s health starts to deteriorate. if she spends a night at our place, it is even more pronounced and painful for my wife…and the pain lingers for 2-3 days even after my mother leaves. My wife suffers the physical pain, hears many was’wasain about her health becoming bad, has clouded/unclear thoughts and thinking – and basically is not herself when she’s having these symptoms.

I would please like to have an email or Skype or phone conversation with someone who is knowledgeable in this area. I want to do what is pleasing to Allah but I also want to be just in my actions.

Jazak’am’Allahu’khairan

A:

Wa Alaikum al-salam

thanks for your question

Its very good that your wife shows such good manners toward your mother. You have to consider the possibility that this is not related to Hasad and Aiyn. The symptoms could be from other things like stress and pressures or past traumas as well.

Here are some suggestions for Hasad/Aiyn:

  • Daily recitation of 4 qul (i.e. tawhid, falaq, na’as, kafirun)
  • Daily recitation of ayatul kursi
  • recitation of wa in Yakad (verse 51, 52 of sura al-Qalam) regularly
  • Keeping and wearing some ta’aweez and hirz like wearing hirz of Imam JAWAD (sa) on the right arm

 

 regards

Sheikh Mahdi Mosayyebi