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Getting Married after Knowing the Past


Asalaam o Alaikum.

I hope you doing well with the grace of Allah. I wanted to marry one girl. Everything was okay until she told me about her past. That she had boyfriend but no haram relationship. He wasn’t muslim that’s why her parents didn’t accept him. She told me each and every word turth about her past. She never had any haram relationship with any guy. Except one guy he had forcefully sex with her and she lost her virginity. I liked her because she’s good girl and kind heart. But she’s not pretty. I was okay before. But after knowing her past. My whole world is up side down. She could hide everything from me. But she didn’t. And she told me truth about her past. Now what should I do. I’m so confused. She gave me both options to stay with her or leave her after knowing her past. Please help me and guide me. I like her and do love her. But her past is stuck in my mind. I don’t know what to do now. I never had any haram relationship with any woman in my life. Please give me the right advice because i don’t want to start my new life with so many things in my mind.. Jazak Allah khair Asalaam o Alaikum


Waalaykum Salam Brother.

Before I come to your query, I’d like to mention that Haram relation is not only the physical relation that a woman and man have! To have an opposite gender friend is also haram. In that case, this sister has had a few haram relations already, even if they didn’t involve any physical contact. Marriage is a very important step in life. And it entirely Begins with finding a correct spouse.
According to the Islamic law, (as collected from Sayyid Sistani’s office) it isn’t Wajib on you to marry her if you’re doing it after feeling sorry for her, and you’re also not obliged to call it off if you think it’s the right thing to do. The only thing however you should make sure of is that, it shouldn’t effect your life after marriage. And that there should be some sort of guarantee that, such relation will not continue. I would suggest you further take some counselling from experience people, to make a perfect decision.

Best wishes,