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Fight between relatives

Q:

Asalam o aalikum. I have a question about family fights. We are only two sisters and got married in the same home. My mother in law is my mother’s sister. After marriage my mother in law had problems with us. i have always tried to resolve issues by talking but it had no effect. At the end after 17 months of marriage my father in law said that my parents are not allowed to come our home and it caused a huge fight between my parents and inlaws. Here I wanna mention that after marriage I live alone in my inlaws house because my husband lived in germany at that time. I became very sick due to my husband’s absence. My mother visited me often and stayed with me in my inlaw’s house because of my health. When I was alone I was not able to sleep whole night and I became so sick. Now its been almost 2 years that my inlaws and my parents had fight they don’t talk to each other. My parents have no problem in ending fight but my father in law has so much ego he says that my parents should appologize by joining their hands infront of him which I finds very disrespectful for my parents. Now I want to end this fight but I don’t have courage to say so becase of my father in law’s behaviour. My question is what should I do in this situation? What did islam says about it? and what is the proper method in islam for ending fights? Please gide me in light of islam and kindly reply me as soon as possible.
thank you for your help in advance.

A:

Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question

Sorry to hear about your situation.

As for your Questions:

1- your first and foremost thing to do would be to analyze the entire issue and both you and your husband should speak to your own parents. Your husband (and his brother also) can have an impact on your father in Law and InshaAllah he let’s go of his demand.
If this isn’t working, your husband can speak to an elderly, influential person or an Alim to speak to your FIL and explain him.

In the meantime, since your mother and Mother in law are sisters, you sisters can help speak to both of them and finish off the issue InshaAllah.
It might take some time, but as they say.. “time heals”

2– In Islam, As mentioned in no.1, but also the concept of forgiveness really holds importance here.

Allah (swt) in surah al-Noor 22:

وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُولُو الْفَضْلِ مِنْكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَنْ يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينَ وَالْمُهَاجِرِينَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ ۖ وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا ۗ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ

“The well-off and the opulent among you should not vow that they will not give [any longer] to the relatives and the needy, and to those who have migrated in the way of Allah, and let them excuse and forbear. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? Allah is all-forgiving, all-merciful.”

Therefore, it is highly recommended that they forgive each other, Atleast for their own sake that InshaAllah in return Allah (swt) will also be equally lenient on them.

InshaAllah this helps,
Kind regards
N.S.Jaffery