The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

Feeling depressed and cannot communicate with others

Q:

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

I am a 17 years old bachelor student, and Alhamdulillah I can study abroad with great support from my parents, because my parents think I am smart enough to enter university. I got really good grades during high school. Alhamdulillah. But for the last 3 years (even before entering university), I am experiencing constant depression and it’s affecting my study and interaction with other people in general. For example, I cannot do an assignment fast enough so i cannot spend time for other equally important things other than academics like doing house chores and hanging out with friends.
I also think that I am an awkward person as I cannot communicate clearly or I cannot put my ideas into words that make sense when talking to people, and can panic quickly & stutter when presenting in front of class. I work best when alone and undisturbed, which is very uncommon in campus. almost everyone i know prefers working with their friends. Everyday I get depressed overthinking everything. I’m not sure how to proceed on with life in this world, and am really worried about the sins I make daily because of this. Please help me find a solution. Wassalam.

A:

Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

I will mention some of the points to help you through this situation.

  1. Have self-confidence and don’t think you are an awkward person. Try to bring in positive attitude to walk through this path.
  2. Show your best and wait for the result. Your parents Duas are with you and as you said they are the great support for you so indeed you will get the success but always follow the right path by obeying Allah(swt) and acting upon His commands especially staying away from relations with non-mahram living in the dormitory.
  3. University assignments take a lot of time but it doesn’t mean you cannot get time for other things or hanging out with friends. You can try to manage all the things by prioritizing them and give the most time to the first in the priority list and likewise for the other works in the list.
  4. If normally, you do not stutter then it is natural in front of the big audience but that doesn’t mean you cannot overcome this.
    Addressing a crowd, holding their attention, and introducing or explaining an idea is frightening as it is. But, for someone who stutters, their anxiety about their speech can amplify the fear and difficulty.
    After all, despite numerous public figures acknowledging their dis-fluency, the sense that stuttering is less than permissible in public persists. Whether speaking on stage at a conference or presenting a project in a classroom, public speaking can be a daunting task.
    How to Stutter Less During Public Speaking?: www.stamurai.com/blog/public-speaking-with-a-stutter

Tips to help reduce a stutter

  1. Slow down. One of the more effective ways to stop a stutter is to try to speak more slowly
  2. Practice. Reach out to a close friend or family member to see if they can sit with you and talk
  3. Practice mindfulness
  4. Record yourself
  5. Look into new treatments

Read the above points in detail on: www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-stuttering#tips and you can search on internet and get different tips to help speak in audience.

5. These different things shouldn’t let you indulge in sins as you mentioned. Whatever happens you must refrain from Haram and try to get closer to Allah(swt) by praying five times a day, reciting Quran every day. If knowingly or unknowingly you indulge in a sin, immediately repent and ask for forgiveness and do not repeat it again. And the last thing is to keep yourself busy in different tasks so you do not fall into sin or even get time to fall in Haram.

6. Recite these 2 verses (Surah Mominoon/97-98) to seek protection.

وَقُلْ رَبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ    وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَنْ يَحْضُرُونِ

Say, ‘My Lord! I seek Your protection from the promptings of devils,
and I seek Your protection, my Lord, from their presence near me.’

 

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider