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Family issues : I really want to know why Allah helps the bad people.


I want apology before asking questions as I am not good at English. I need some Islamic suggestions. My brother had affair with my sister in law before his marriage though our parents never supported it. As my brother insisted to marry her without seeing any other option my parents agreed. Unfortunately after marriage my sister in law started to complain my brother against every single person in our family and relatives. As a result we started to notice sudden change of behavior towards us from my brother. We all were hurt but remain silent only thinking about the happiness of my brother and my mother was the person who was hurt most among us. After some years my nephew was born. The major problems are my brother and his wife is neglecting and behaving very rough with my mother. My mother is very sick and she finds it difficult to move but still works all day for us. My mother is becoming weaker day by day only thinking about how his son is neglecting her. My sister in law is a very clever woman and always keeps saying something about us. I am a student and my father is a service holder, we can’t stay home much to look after her and my mother doesn’t agree to have any maid or anybody to assist her. My mother is a woman with a very soft heart and behavior. Since my childhood I’ve never seen her to quarrel with anybody. She has tried a lot to make my brother and his wife happy but is clear that my sister in law doesn’t want to stay with us. She seems to be very happy when my brother doesn’t even care about us when we are in any big trouble. She keeps taking advice from her mother whatever happens in our house. I can’t explain everything because it will make the question very long. These situations are making it very tough for me to have the love for Allah I used to have. Now I’m very afraid that I’ll end up losing my trust in Allah. I really don’t want that. Now please tell me what I can do and what my parents can do. I really want to know why Allah helps the bad people. I am becoming very depressed day by day. I have a feelings that Allah hates me and the persons I love most. Please reply to my question as soon as possible.


Waalaykum Salam  brother.

I’m sorry to learn about your situation, and of your mother. InshAllah,it’s all resolved.

It is indeed very difficult for two women to live under one roof, since each of them has her own way and routine of living. To further calm the situation in your house I’d suggest the following:

1- Maybe living separate would be a great solution. In that case, your mother will not have so much of work, and your sister in law will have things her way.

2- If no.1 is not working out, then try and convince your mum over having a help in the house.

3- Your entire family needs some counselling, it will be ideal if you saw an adult or an Aalim, whom your entire family will respect and listen to.He can then help resolve the issue in your house.

4- This is very very important: what your sister in law is doing has nothing to do with Allah’s help. Ofcourse she has the strength in her body given by Allah, but she is totally independent as to where and how she wants to use that energy. Her scheming against your mother or family is
entirely her own decision and there is no reason thinking that Allah is helping her. That is why we are accounted for our deeds on the day of resurrection.

There is something else that your sister in law needs to understand that: According to the Islamic sharia, she has an independent  relation with your mother now, regardless your brother. Meaning, your sister in law has
a direct relation with your mother, just like she has with her own. If your brother divorced her, she will still be a  Mahram to your father for life! That’s how important their relation has become. Hence, she is
answerable to Allah (swt) directly for her doings.

Also, there are certain punishments that are set to be given in this Dunya itself (and extra accounting in the next world),one of them being
displeasing ones parents!

Prophet Mohammad (saww) says: “there are three sins, whose punishment is given in this Dunya itself; hurting parents, dictatorship and not
appreciating people’s efforts.”  -(Translation of Mizan-al-hikmah, Rai
Shahri, vol 4, pg 1903)

You certainly need to ask an Aalim to inform all the members of your family on these and such issues.

I pray all goes well

Naajiya Bhimji Jaffery