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Facing Problems in Marriage

Q:

I am Nikkahfied and going to married in January. Its love marriage. But the day since we decided our marriage date , me and my husbands fight everyday on small & big issues. We feel like we hate eachother. There is always anger come out when we talk even on a normal topic. I feel so worried if it is continuously happened it may destroy our relationship. What should I do now?

A:

Alaikum salam.

Assuming your Nikah has been recited and the ceremony has to be still held, you have to try your best to pursue your marriage.
If you were in your right mind when making the decision, bearing in mind that the choice was made thought provokingly with the right criteria for spouse selection, try avoiding petty quarrels to spoil this divine relationship of marriage.
Devaluing each other, or nagging at each other on little matters could easily spoil a relationship.
Be alert that shaitan does not overtake you on that.
Being honest, polite and respectful will make you love each other the same way as you thought your marriage should have been like when deciding to enter into this relationship.
Remember, if your spouse has the basic good qualities in him, then try starting afresh with the spirit of patience and sacrifice. The result and reward will be love and respect you will enjoy for as long as you live inshAllah.
Try reading some good books on marital issues and morality. Pray for your spouse too and encourage him to read as well.
If however, the Nikah hasn’t been recited as yet, then think and read over very carefully on what concerns marriage and spouse selection, and then make a decision by the help of Allah s.w.t. with the advice of your trust worthy elders or close ones.
Keep struggling and you will get the answer inshAllah.

Regards
Salma Alavi