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Q:

Give me advice to ease myself freely and live a best life. Im unhappy or totally upset with my all family members especially with my mom. Reasons: Mom does not tries to understand my pain not given any support but always have/makes a habit of making asssumptions but never tries to understand the reality. My mom gets easily influence through sibling’s point of view regarding anything to me. but never ever ask me personally what’s the issue, why you’re getting hypoglycemia most often during that hard days  So,i’m here to say something about my life. I has a bit nose deformity, due to this i’ve never felt easy or relaxed during my school or college days.Because everyone right from child to old age people’s toucher their nose and tries to show/give signal to me that i’ve bit nose deformity,.this totally break my confidence and everything. I can’t express here that was totally horrible time. My siblings always makes fun of me during that days.I never make any friends because of this till now.DUring my third year of professioanal graduation course. I decided to solve my problem, their slowly i’ve consulted surgeon and finally decided to go for nose opereation to correct the deformity.I did in 2015 .my mom has supported me finacially for this. But after this a year, she never asked me personally why you did, what’s the problem. But started making false assumptions and always tries to say to siblings that might be in his college all fashion girl’s are their like that and all, and she still thinks the same. Unfortunately even after surgeon wrote in prescribtion: that i has nasal deformity but never ever understand my pain. How i has travelled, studied and all that hard times. And as of present im 70 % relaxed after that operation. I totally stopped speaking with family members because they has hurted a lot emotioanlly at that time. I just talk 10-15% with my mom now adays. But im upset with mom because of her false assumptions, she broken my heart,never tries to understand the pain.I’m getting very extreme depressed when im in home because all that moments kills me a day to day. So, at present situation i hate al my family members to be honest including my mom for this reason’s. I can’t live with them freely. Help, advice me to lead a good life, here i want to say something i feel bad about myself why im hating my mom. Please help me im hopeless .

A:

Salamun Alaykum

Sorry to hear about your experience.

It could be very hard to feel that way and to stop that hatred, we would suggest the following :

1) It will be best to consult a medically trained local counsellor who can guide you on how to best handle the situation with your family. Your doctor can probably recommend someone suitable.

2) You should definitely listen to what your mother has to say on her part. This doesn’t mean that you have to tell her you don’t like her. Just tell her how you feel in a very positive and calm talk. Maybe she doesn’t mean any of the things you are feeling.

3) When seeking medical advice you must run some bloods test to make sure you are not low on your essential Minerals and vitamins. This could make you feel blue and hopeless in life.

4) Make dua for your mother. There is none like ones mother in life. Making dua for her will really solve your issue,since love will start showing it’s existence in yourself. It will also bless her with better health and strength to be able to stand beside you inshaAllah.

You are in our special prayers.
Kinds regards,
Ask an Alim team