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Do you have any advice to tackle this situation? I want to follow the way of Allah and I don’t want to lose relations with my parents and I genuinely want to get married to a boy I like.


I (a girl aged 17) am facing a situation where I have told my parents that I like someone (a boy aged 19) at a young age. The guy and I decided to revisit this situation at a later age when our parents can be involved. However, because of an old vendetta between the families (we are cousins) my father is quick to dismiss the situation and has decided to put my education on a hold so that I do not mingle with the guy. My father has completely refused me from completing university and attaining a degree if it is not done under his roof. I wouldn’t have minded staying in my home country however the universities do not offer the course I wish to study.

I want to finish my studies and get married in the right way, but now I have been told that this relationship will never happen. I understand that he is my father although I do not see a problem when we decided to discuss marriage at a later date.

Do you have any advice to tackle this situation? I want to follow the way of Allah and I don’t want to lose relations with my parents. I genuinely want to get married to him and hope my parents approve of it and let me finish studying,

Waalyakum al Salam
Thank you for your question.
If the person you’re interested in is genuinely a good person, as in is a practicing Muslim and ethically fit to marry you, then you should speak to someone who can then speak to your father and explain.
According to Islamic laws, a girl, who is virgin, has to have the consent of her father or eternal grandfather for marriage. Otherwise, the Nikah will be invalid.
To add to this, your parents happiness and consent is extremely important to such an extent that in Islamic laws, if anything that you do will displeased your parents then you should avoid it.
However, every issue has a solution. As mentioned earlier, speak to someone to intervene and see what you get out of it. In regards to your studies, you must win the trust if your parents. It looks like they were in the impression that you had no relation with the fellow from the time you were 17. And they only just found out that you still do. This can shatter their trust and are ready to pay any cost to keep you safe, even if it mean your studies and or your career.
InshaAllah everything settles well.