The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

Ask an Alim

Reconciliation & Child’s Custody


Salaamun Alaikum.

It is one year there have been attempts to rescue a marriage from divorce as the marriage can easily be reconciled if there is natural justice followed and the other party sincerely accepts their mistakes and breaks their ego.

However, if this fails can the man withhold divorce conditionally that if the custody which is fathers right is given to him then he will give the divorce as the girls party has plans not to give the custody to the father ever.



Alaykum Salaam

Reconciliation can be attempted by asking senior representatives from both sides to come to an equitable way forward to preserve the marriage. The Qur’an counsels:

And if you fear a breach between them, then appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will effect it between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing,
All-Aware. (Suratu Nisa 4/35)

Because children are involved every effort must be made to impress on the parents to stay together and work through their issues.

As for the issue of divorce, the wife must understand that custody of the children ultimately goes to the father, unless he is incompetent to care for his children, for example mentally ill etc.

Since the wife wants to follow God’s law by seeking Talaq, she must submit on the custody issue as well.

It may be possible even in the case of divorce to come up with a compromise by mutual agreement on the nature of custody, rights of visitation etc.

With duas,

Abbas Jaffer.