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Distance from my husband is effecting my marriage

Q:

I have been married for 4 years.. we were living separately due to visa issues.. my husband’s family is not good with me from the starting.. they always tried to put me down.. saying bad things and finding mistakes.. in the start i ignored.. but they just crossed the limit.. they also said things abiut me to my husbsnd.. my husband also ignored me from the start.. never calls me.. or anything else.. he also said bad things.. he said to me once go to your mom.. i dont care about you, i have many girls for me.. he always blamed me for everyhing for thing which even i hadnt done.. i just ignored everthing.. but now after all that i just dont have any feelings about him.. i dont feel good in living with him.. I am not comfortable with him.. i dont know what to do.. i have been in depression due to all this.. i dont want to live with him.. but every one is forcing to live with him.. he never cared about me.. plz tell me what should i do ???
I dont feel when he touches me.. i feel discomfort.. its feel like he is not right for me.. its really bothering me a lot.. my heart is not accepting him.. whenever i think all the bad things that he said to me come in my mind.. its really becoming impossible for me to live with him.. i am in very pain right now.. please guide me which is best for me.. should i leave him or stay ??
Staying with him gives me pain..

A:

Assalamu Alaykum

thank You for your Question

Sorry to hear about your experience. You certainly need to take quick action for the feelings you’re going through. You need to seek some counseling where one can guide you to come out of this unpleasant memories.

Also, separation is not the solution. Your distance for a long time has made the situation this tight for you. Hence, you must give some quality time to your relation and then make the final decision.

sister, husband and wife relation is very holy and unique. The kind that you won’t have with any other being than your spouse alone. This relation’s main pillar is communication. You must be able to speak to him and also be a good listener. So please explain this to your husband on a very general level and slowly build on talking to him about anything, including your past experience. This will help you vent out, build your understanding and increase love.

I hope you are able too ease out and enjoy your life together.
kind regards,
N.S.Jaffery