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Disloyal wife


My wife was a divorcee when I married her , she and her parents lied to me about a lot of things before marriage & specially about that half of their family is Ahmedi. Now after 8 years she becomes my two kids mother however she is always talk bad about me to her brother and sister, I caught her many times doing that not, only that she record disagreement conversations and watsapp communication and sent to her family members. she called police three times and get me arrested once which says “she didn’t intended to” Now situation is like this she goes to her moms and often do not let me meet and talk to my kids when she is at her moms. She always hide things from me. I’m in terrible mental unrest and I am thinking to divorce her many times ….my question is if I divorce her, do my kids upbringing is still my responsibility or I can disown them along with her after divorce ? please note her brought up is with English mind set and mine is quite Islamic, she abused me Verbally, physically and she is also very unwise women but I stayed with her so far due to kids wellbeing and their Muslim upbringing.


بسمه تعالی

الهم صلی علی محمد و آله

Wa alaykum salam dear brother

Insha Allah I hope this correspondence finds you in the best health and iman

Regarding your query, it seems you are very much concerned about your children. I do not know the country you are from, so obviously the rules regarding custody are alien to me. But from an Islamic perspective the children usually are to be with the father.

Besides this, you as a father, even if you divorce your wife, which seems to be what you are thinking and hopefully is the last option you have left on the table after trying to fix any problems you may have had, the children will still be financially responsible on you. This is a responsibility that you have to perform, whether they accept or not is not on your shoulders.

One of the things that you have not mentioned in the query is your relationship with your children. if they are close to you, then you presence is important and may cause them to see the right. if they are distant, this may cause them to get closer.

I pray that the issue is resolved in a amicable manner and Allah (swt) knows best.

Keep praying and doing your Wajibats and remain strong.

Keep us in your prayers as well.

Was salams