The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

Daughter and Father relationship

Q:

My wife’s father is following Sunni-ism and mother Shia-ism. My wife is close to her mother and practices shia-ism without in knowledge of his father. I am shia and we got married last year under the shia isna ashri laws and in between shia molanas. her father was fine with this as well but never wanted her to convert as was not aware of her daughter’s faith.

After getting married, he came to know that she is attending majalis in Muharram and in short converted to Shia. He stopped talking to her and myself. We are calling and texting him but no response from him. We lived in different countries so unable to go home and make him understandable. My wife’s siblings also talked to him but he is not in mood to even to accept.

My question is what are responsibilities in terms of islam. Is Allah will be unhappy with my wife as his father is unhappy with him and broke all the relationships in between. My wife is fine with the Shia-ism but sometimes felt that her father is not talking to her.

A:

As-Salam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

thanks for your question

In Islam we are not allowed to follow other in basic principles of religion, our faith must be out of knowledge and reason.

Respecting parents is critical in Islam as we see in many verses of Quran(like 17:23) Allah swt counts it as second important thing after tawhid (unity of Allah), but with all its importance parents can not force their child in wrong faith and if they did so the child shouldn’t obey them (look 31:15).

shia orders has more emphasis on treating parents respectfully even if they have different religion; as we see in the story of Zakaria Ibn Ibrahim, who was a companion of Imam Sadiq a.s and asked Imam a.s about his Christian mother “My mother is a Christian and she is old and blind.” The Imam advised him, “Serve your mother and behave kindly towards her…”. When Zakaria returned home he began to behave very kindly with his mother. He fed her with his own hands. Changed her clothes, washed and bathed her too. In short, he served his mother in every possible way. His mother asked, “My son you were not so dutiful when you were a Christian. Why is it that now you serve me day and night.

Zakaria replied, “O my mother. I have a master who is the son of the Prophet of Allah (S). He advised me to serve you in this way.” The mother asked, “Is he a prophet?” “No. But he is a son of the Prophet (S).” “Such a person must be a Prophet because only prophets teach such manners.” The mother remarked.

Zakaria explained to his mother, “The chain of the Prophets came to an end with the Prophet of Islam (S). He was the seal of the Prophets. The one who has guided me is the son of the Prophet (S).” The mother said, “My son, the religion of Islam that you have embraced is better than all the religions. Teach me, so that I too may become a Muslim.”

So, Zakaria made her recite the ‘Shahada’ and taught her the true beliefs. Later, this lady performed the Zohrain and the Maghrebain prayers. The same night death approached her. She told her son: “Dear son, repeat to me again whatever you have taught me.” Zakaria began to recite while she listened carefully and in this way she passed away.

So In your case being respectful toward parent is more important because you are the symbol of Shia, so try to respect him in any way (like calling and texting even more than before, sending gifts etc.) and don’t get disappointed in your path.

You may also want to get help from an influential person your father would listen to and see if he can convince him inshaAllah.

May Allah swt opens his heart to you and show him the right path.

regards

AAA under the guidance of sheikh mahdi mosayyebi