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Counsel – Religion/Imaan

Q:

Alright the thing is, I’ve been quite religious two to three years ago but now I think I’m out of religion. My iman is just no more. I don’t have the niyyat to pray, recite Quran, pray to God and ask for help anymore at any point, I can’t even thank him for the blessings. I have been committing so many sins, fornication, masturbation, ate haram, always with girls and everything. I hurled abuses and really hurting words at my mum as well. My mum and dad are really disappointed with me but I feel like I dont care about anything. I get really angry too. I threaten them etc. I don’t have feelings for anyone anymore. I don’t have that guilt after committing sins anymore. Like I don’t care about anything anymore. I have negative thoughts about religion all the time too. I am just 15 years old, about to turn 16 this October. I really need help getting back to my religion. I feel Allah has just sealed my brain and heart and now i don’t really care what I do major or minor sins. I really want to have my iman back. There are so many problems at home, my dad’s been jobless for two years, my mum’s jobless both are trying really hard to look for work. I can’t support them in anyway, not financially but can’t even give them emotional support beeuse I feel like I don’t care. And then it’s out friendships problems, etc. I feel Allah has just made me lose my respect in everybodys eyes thats why i get rude and angry with everyone, just get really angry over the smallest of things. My family don’t talk to me anymore as well. What should I do to get my iman back? And the question is my heart and brain being sealed, can I even have my iman back? Because I cant even have the niyyat for tawbah as well. Thanks

A:

Salamun Alaykum,

Thank you for your question. The fact that you have reached out for help shows that deep down you do care about the distance you feel from God and on some level you do regret what you have done or at least feel some level of pain in seeing the way things are going. In reaching out you have taken your first step. 
 
From what you have described you can see the negative effects of some of the sins you have described. Sins are sins because of the negative effects that they have. They are forbidden for our sake as God does not need our obedience, but He has shown humans what they need to do to be successful in life. The sins need to stop as they are covering your heart. You also need to begin restraining your anger. These are both processes and it will take time but you must remain focused until both sin and anger are no longer part of your life. Then your heart will start to open and your faith will return. Start by making amends with your parents through acts of kindness and start praying. Your prayers will help you avoid sinning and will help you think before you act in anger. Find peace in prayer and the rest I believe you will figure out along the way.
 
May you be successful in getting your life back on track
ZoheirAli