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Counsel – Marriage (Urdu)

Q:

Salam ..my question is that agar shohar k ghar yani susral jane se izzat e nafs majroh ho or apse apni or apne waldain ki zillat bardash na ho to kia kiya jaye? Dosra shohar srf khane peeney or rehne ki jagah faraham krey or biwi ko uski apni zarooriyat k lye kharcha na de or sara paisa apne ghar walon pe lagata rahe or biwi se kahe tum qurbani do sabr kro to ese me kia jrna chahye jbk biwi ko maloom hai k usk shohar ko srf or srf loota ja raha hai sb apna matlab pora kr rahe hain..

A:
Wa alaykum salam
 
Islam me shadi(marriage) ka eik maqsad ye hai ke eik dusre ko sukun pohnchayn.shadi ke bad miya biwi eik hojate hain,unke problems unki khushiyan unke tamam masael eik dusre se marbut hojate hain aur dono milkar apni zindagi ko kaamiyabi ki taraf leker jaate hain.
Iska matlab hai ke dono ko eik dusre ke walidain ko apne walidain samajna chahiye (Balke Sharii Lihaz se wo walidayn hain). Aapke masle mey agar aapko ye mehsus horaha hai ke aapke susral wale  aapki tawheen karte hain to pehle aap koshish karein ke apne akhlaq se aur muhabbat se unka dil jitlein (mujhe pata hai ye kaam bohot mushkil hai lekin na mumkin nahi aur agar maqsad bara hai to bohot sare kaam asan hojaate hain).Aur agar tamam koshishon ke bawujood wo apni aadat ko change nahi karte to aap unke ghar jaana kam kardein lekin ràbta khatam na karein kyunke wo aapke shauhar ke walidain hain.Aur ye kisi tarha (ihtiram se) zarur unko batayn ke aapne kyun jaana kam kiya hai.
Jahan tak aapke shauhar ka masla hai,shauhar pe wajib hai hai ke wo apni biwi ko nafaqa dein yaani khaana pina,kapre aur rehne ki jaga.
Agar jo aap kehrahi hain ke aapke shauhar ziyadatar paisa apne ghar walon pe kharch karraha hai to unko apni aadate change karni hogi.aap koshish karein kisi aalim ye koi parhe likha shaks se apne shauhar ki baat karwayn jo unko samja sakein.
 agar aapka shauhar acha insan hai aur ye kaam jo karrahay hain khulus dil aur achi niyyat se karray hain to unko samjana mushkil nahi hoga balke aap is ache kaam mey unka saath dein .unko yaaqeen dilayn ke har ache kaam me aap unka saath dengi phir kabhi aap unko kisi kaam se rokengi to wo aapki baat sunenge.
Jab ham ache kaam karrahY hote hain to muhim hamari achi niyyat hai ne dusre ka bura rawayya.
 
Sukaina Taqavi