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Counsel: Husband-Wife Relation

Q:

Asalalam alykom, I am confused. My wife wears hijab and modest clothing alhamdulilah. At my job however I am always exposed to beautiful women with revealing clothes. When ever I go out with my wife, women are in their most attractive dresses, shorts you name it.. I look at my wife and shes covered. At this point I feel attracted to the half naked women not my wife, although my wife is beautiful when she dresses up. So, I started having this urge to have my wife wear revealing, attractive clothes and take her to a date on a romantic night and have some getaways to the beach just me and her to the beach with her short shorts and silky hair being blown from the wind. But only at when want to spend time together. Otherwise she’s in her normal hijab and modest clothes. Look, I just need help, I don’t know if this is right or wrong I am confused. Jazakum allah kayr

A:

Alaykum salaam

Thank you for your question. There is no problem in your wife wearing revealing clothing in a private setting, like the house or another private place. As a male in an environment such as your workplace where you are exposed to many beautiful women in revealing clothes, you have to be aware of other factors that perhaps may have slipped your grasp which feed into the philosophy of hijab. See, not everything that looks nice on the outside is nice on the inside. While the women you see reveal their outward beauty for all to see, that in itself shows a lack of faith and deep commitment in God and the next life. You are blessed with a woman who does have those inner qualities, yet you may think that perhaps you are willing to forgo these as you see the outward and judge it as the whole story. If you have ever heard these women in your workplace speak about their love lives you will understand the extent of how complicated and immoral those lives are. On the other hand, your wife wears hijab and fights a personal battle every day to not show her beauty and attract the attention of those around her. The question that I have is that would you be willing to trade the inner beauty of your wife for that external beauty? Let me ask you, what if other men start paying attention to your wife? What if she starts paying attention back and when you confront her she just brushes it off or says that you are too controlling or that you are the one who wanted it this way? Are you ready to accept these potential consequences? Or are you imagining a case in which every blessing you have now due to the fact that your wife wears hijab will be maintained whilst all that is additional is some extra fun? It is a case of the grass is greener on the other side.

You can enjoy all the short skirts and tight clothing of your wife in private and you should do as there is nothing wrong with that. If you can find a private beach or villa etc you can enjoy yourselves. But bringing it out for the world to see is pure ignorance.

May you always be successful

ZoheirAli