The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

Ask an Alim

Dilemma between Family and Girlfriend.


As-Salamu Alaykum Sir, I have one question for my friend who is in very much confusion and trouble. He is working abroad he found a girl there 4 years before, ex-boyfriend of that girl cheat on her and blackmailing her based on her pictures which she took with him(consider it nude pictures). Due to this, the girl try to do suicide but my friend took her and give her confidence and did fight with her ex-boyfriend and close this chapter but still her ex has her pictures that he can send to anyone. Later on my friend thinks and try to give her support and take a decision to marry with her, with that he just want to give his shoulder to her and safe her future life from his evil boyfriend, later on he is started to like her as well, because they were living alone in abroad they have started to meet and eat to-gather after some time one day they did not control over them and did the sex, but after short time they realized it is Gunah-e-Kabeera so he make Toba from Allah and commit they will touch each other but only after getting marriage and start convincing to their parents for marriage. But the mother of my friend refuse to give the permission to marry that girl and give the reasons she is not much educated as you are and she is not from same cast as you have and also mark question on her character because she is living and working lonely in abroad etc. My friend has also discussed two option to her month “ok Mom you can find out a girl for me as per your desires but give me permission for second marriage with her (his girlfriend) which I will do only if my first wife allow me (first wife: as per my mother selection) but his Mom refused” Suddenly brother of my friend see the chat between my friend and his girlfriend where she has discussed about her past and told this all things to his mother, Now his mother is saying there are two options choose that girl and leave us for life, or leave that girl. My friend is having and strong attachment with her and don’t want to break his commitment which he has done with her and want to be loyal with her at any cost, because not for his desires but he wants to fulfil the wishes of that girl what she thinks with him but same time she is think if he married with that girl his mother, sisters and brother will not speak with him for whole life and he will not be able to fulfil his responsibilities towards his family because he is the only one who is taking care of his family (financially and all other aspects). Please note both of them didn’t met from last two years because they did Toba from Allaha. Please advice, what should my friend do as per the Islamic point of view? What is the rights of a son in this situation as per Islamic point of view?


Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question
It isn’t permissible for one to have a relation with a na- Mahram, be it for a noble Cause like helping out, because the end result is usually what happened to your friend.
Once you are left alone with a na-Mahram, Satan is the third being present, and we all know what happens whenever Satan is involved in any thing!?
As per your question,
A man doesn’t require permission of his parents for a marriage. (According to Islamic laws it is Wajib for a woman to have her father’s or grandfather’s consent) but if his parents become unhappy and are saddened by his act, then he should refrain from doing it.
On a side note, if the family is unwilling to let their son marry this girl because of her reputation, then there should be a gentle reminder that the son is also part of that now. And to secure her integrity and his too, it would be best for them to be together and have a good start.
But again the happiness and ‘Rizayat’ of parents is equally important
InshaAllah he Is able to make a good decision
And may Allah forgive us all.
Kind regards
Naajiya Jaffery .